Selasa, 30 April 2019

Retro Review: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)

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Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
2004
Cast: Will Ferrell, Cristina Applegate, Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, David Koechner, Fred Willard, Vince Vaughn
Genre: Comedy
Worldwide Box Office Gross: over $90 million

Plot: Ron Burgundy is San Diego's top rated newsman in the male-dominated broadcasting of the 1970s, but that's all about to change for Ron & his cronies when an ambitious woman is hired as a new anchor 





'Patchy Comedy, But Still Held Together By Ferrell'

When it comes to comedy movie stars, it seems as though each decade, there has been one performer who has dominated the Hollywood movie scene with a string of frequent hits: the 1980s belonged to Eddie Murphy in Beverly Hills Cop, Trading Places, Coming To America, 48 Hrs and in the 1990s arguably, and for me anyway, it was Robin Williams who struck gold with a string of comedies Mrs Doubtfire, The Birdcage, a comedic turn as the Genie in Aladdin, alongside his Oscar-winning dramatic turn in Good Will Hunting. & the 2000s saw the breakthrough of Saturday Night Live's Will Ferrell: the Irvine-born comic and actor came on the scene via Old School, Elf, Blades of Steel. But it was the success of The Legend of Ron Burgundy that truly put Ferrell on the comedy movie map, and for a while, he was huge and on a good run of form;  alas, his career was surging after this effort. 

Some of the misogyny in this film was a little disappointing to witness, which unfortunately became a norm from the early 2000s onwards in many comedies, whilst the comedy by Will Ferrell and courtesy of Judd Apatow is a lot less conventional and in the vein of the tomfoolery and broad farce of that of Robin Williams and Jim Carrey, but it is also witty in places from an entertainment point of view. In essence, it is a smarter and wittier version of the Farrelly Brothers humour and is far less malicious and mean-spirited in contrast. 

As a broad spoof on the 1970s and television news, it mocks these subjects rather well, without dumbing down too much. The characters are affectionate parodies of newscasters, with Ron who, despite his perverse attractions, is kind of charming too. Even if his character is a bit of misogynist. Will Ferrell is Will Ferrell who is less loud, but still, he is just as amusing in his own way, relying on the low brow antics and whilst this is his movie, his performance doesn't overshadow the remaining cast members. Ferrell, who also acts as a co-writer of Anchorman, plays Ron: a successful news anchorman who has a thing for Veronica: a female reporter who was hired by the station manager to increase and boost diversity, - but also, she is the same person targeted by Ron's colleagues to stop her from reigning in on their all-boys club parade. Tensions arise and it isn't long until the feuds and the in-fighting affect pretty much everyone involved. It is up to Ron to fix things and put them right. 

The support in Cristina Applegate, Steve Carell and Ant-Man's Paul Rudd hold their own opposite Ferrell. There are also cameos from Vince Vaughn, Luke Wilson, Ben Stiller, Jack Black, of whom is in one scene where he dropkicks a fake dog towards the end (!), and an uncredited Tim Robbins, who was in his first big notable movie, since, well 1994's The Shawshank Redemption. 

Despite her attractive looks, Veronica is no ditzy blonde, nor pushover who gives the guys a run for her money and Applegate infuses the character confidence and a strong female presence, as well as giving the film another angle in which to work with. Some of the humour that works well occurs when Veronica is having to contend with Ron and his buddies incessant sexist behaviour and she tries to put them in their place. 

Comedy-wise, it is very sly, scattering and patchy, and not laugh-out-loud funny; however, when it and the gags hit the target, they land more than they miss, which is a good sign. As mentioned, The Legend of Ron Burgandy lampoons the world of broadcast television news and to an extent the 1970s era, effectively. As the film went on, I realised this is mainly comprised of mini SNL sketch pieces that are stretched out and follow one after the after. This made the viewing experience a tad cumbersome.

Personally, it's not bad and it is thanks to star man Ferrell, who makes Anchorman work but he needed to bring out more of the funny, which this film could have done more with. It is a comedy where it could have been a whole lot better, although some people may find his rambling as Ron tiresome, this has some mildly amusing one-liners and one or two light-hearted scenes. If you are not a fan of comedy films in general, then most likely, you will not be into this movie, nor enjoy it as much, as the humour is not reliant on pumping out jokes, gags and slapstick every 10 to 15 mins. Which, for this film, it would have helped if it had far more consistent and better slapstick and comedy. The improv is okay, but again, it needed that for me to laugh out a lot more, which it didn't do; plus Judd Apatow's films don't do it for me. 

By today's standards in the post-2010s, Anchorman just doesn't have that commercial mainstream accessibility, I tried to see its appeal from that train of thought, but the humour, which was and is a key component in many of these comedies that I watch, was lacking. This is just me, but having grown up with Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams, Leslie Nielsen and Jim Carrey in the 1980s and 1990s back in the day, I'm so used to their own brands of comedy that are also accessible to general audiences; nevertheless, Anchorman most definitely stands as a certifiable cult comedy and the Judd Apatow style has its share of fans and admirers.





Final Verdict

When I tune into a Will Ferrell film, I expect considerable laughs, as well as partially stupid and silly humour, - and this wasn't as hilarious as I anticipated. Anchorman's own strength is finding satire in the exploration of news media, yet its weakness is that the comedy aspect just wasn't there in abundance, pretty much most of the time. As comedies go that is so gag-based, ultimately it depends on whether it works for you and you find it amusing enough. Comedy is a subjective experience; with film, it's not so much about whether one is in on the joke, but that it makes you laugh a lot. 

Unfortunately, Anchorman's big laughs just didn't materialise and absurdist humour doesn't equate to hilarity. Dumb can be funny, being dumb can lead to all manner of fun situations, but it felt like here as if it was being dumb and silly, without the funniness to back it up.  

Still, when Will Ferrell is onscreen, Anchorman becomes a tad amusing, as opposed to funny and he carries the movie with aplomb and considerable ease.  


Overall: 


2019 Blind Spot Series: Big

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And I'm back with another entry into the Blind Spot Challenge, hosted by Sofia at Returning Videotapes. If you want to see what others are doing for their challenges, check out her site. Just make sure you read what's below. Let's just get to it.



Why did I pick it? I have two main reasons. The first is identical to the one I gave for finally watching The Princess Bride. I wanted to see what all the hype was about a movie I had no interest in seeing back when it came out. I was seventeen and thought I was too cool for some dorky movie where the guy from Bachelor Party dances on a giant piano. My other reason might be a bit more relevant to you, or at least more current. As of the time of this writing, a loose, kinda-sorta remake called Little has hit theaters in recent weeks. If you’re unaware of it, just know that the protagonist is gender, age, and race-swapped. I will see it sometime soon, but I wanted to see this version first. As a side note, it’s also a nod to the film’s director, the recently deceased Penny Marshall.

Marshall’s version starts with thirteen-year-old Josh (David Moscow) playing computer games (at a time when only the nerdiest kids did so), hanging out with his best friend Billy (Jared Rushton), and working very hard to impress the more sophisticated Cynthia (Kimberlee M. Davis). Failing miserably, even though she’s rather nice about it, Josh finds himself alone at a carnival, in front of a wish granting machine called Zoltar. Since Cynthia likes older guys, it only makes sense that Josh wishes to be “big.” Zoltar tells him his wish has been granted. He’s a bit startled by the fact the machine isn’t plugged in, but doesn’t make too much of it until he wakes up the next morning in the body of the guy from Bosom Buddies. Billy is the only person Josh is able to convince of what happened. With Billy’s help, he tries to find the machine, but the entire carnival is gone. Realizing that getting back to his original body is going to take a while, Josh goes about the business of trying to live like an adult. Luckily for him, he finds an office job with a toy company. Hijinks and shenanigans ensue.

Having already seen another gender swapped re-imagining, 13 Going on 30 (2004), this movie hits all the beats I knew it would. However, even if I had never seen that Big would still be rather predictable. It sets up its story in a way that makes it easy to tell what the next logical step is and then takes it. What elevates it above these constraints is the performance of Tom Hanks as “adult” Josh. It is something to see him start off filled with childlike wonder and slowly lose that spark as the film progresses. We can feel the weight of adulthood sinking onto his shoulders. Simultaneously, we see him learn and experience things that he might not be ready for. Josh shares an inverse relationship with Susan, played wonderfully by Elizabeth Perkins. She is the film’s love interest. Her character arc is much like Josh’s but moving in the opposite direction. The chemistry Perkins shares with Hanks feels a bit off early on, perhaps by design, but improves throughout. By the end of the film she’s been taught as big a lesson as Josh.


While Perkins does admirable work, and Hanks received his first Oscar nomination, the film’s best performance belongs to Robert Loggia as Mr. MacMillan, the big boss at the toy company. Whenever he shows up you can instantly feel every single day of every year of wear and tear on this guy’s entire being. He’s been around the block more than a few times and is at his wit’s end trying to keep up with a changing market with an increasingly robotic staff. They emotionlessly crunch numbers and spit out lifeless products. Loggia’s performance conveys this in such a way that he becomes the glue that keeps Big from falling to pieces. More than anyone else in the film, he makes us understand what a breath of fresh air Josh is. Therefore, we don’t mind the ridiculous, and fast, good fortune that comes Josh’s way. Loggia’s weariness and longing for a simpler time is what makes the aforementioned piano scene so iconic. Hanks is merely doing what he was known for back then, being a silly man-child. The sheer joy emanating from Loggia feels so genuine it overwhelms us with the warm and fuzzies.

As you can tell, what’s on the screen works. Unfortunately, I spent a large chunk of the runtime wondering what I wasn’t seeing. Immediately after young Josh transforms into Uncle Ned, we’re treated to a scene of his mother rightfully flipping out, believing him to be some creep who kidnapped her son. Shortly after, we get a scene of her talking to the cops. Beyond this we get almost nothing on the front. Mom (Mercedes Ruehl) shows up once in a while to remind us of her existence, but we never get the sense she’s actually looking for her missing child. She simply mopes around for a minute or two and disappears. I get that devoting more time to her could potentially make Big a much heavier film. Not including her more, however, makes it feel like it’s missing some important information. Only the carefree half of the story is told. The darker half is omitted to maintain a lighthearted tone.

Don’t get me wrong. This is a very enjoyable movie that breezes by on the strength of its cast. We can’t help but get caught up in Josh’s exploration of the adult world. Hanks ropes us in and makes sure we fall in love with his character. Excellent portrayals by Robert Loggia and Elizabeth Perkins take us further down that road. However, the road less traveled really does make all the difference. Choosing that fork might have improved Big from good to great.



Gringo (3 Stars)

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Families are overrated. I started writing this review two hours ago, as I can see by the time stamp, but apart from inserting the photo I've done nothing. For the last two hours family members have been walking in and out of my room, talking and squawking, not letting me get on with it. Sure, I love my family, but at this time of night I deserve a little peace.

End of rant. Now let's get on with my review.

"Gringo" is a film I wanted to see when it was in German cinemas last year. It features Charlize Theron and Amanda Seyfried, two of my favourite actresses. Add Joel Edgerton and Sharlto Copley, and you can expect a brilliant film.

Unfortunately, a film's quality isn't the sum of its actors. "Gringo" skids out of control with too many subplots weighing down the film. Oops, I'm mixing my metaphors, but I think you know what I mean. I'm sorry to say that Amanda Seyfried is completely superfluous. The film would have been tighter and more enjoyable if she'd been written out.

Harold Soyinka (David Oyelowo) is an employee in an American pharmaceutical company that's about to begin to sell medical marijuana. It's not clear what he actually does in the company, but his boss refers to him as middle management. The vagueness is deliberate. His boss, Richard Rusk (Joel Edgerton), is a personal acquaintance who obviously just wants someone to blame when things go wrong. Harold probably just writes reports that nobody will ever read.

The company is in Chicago, but the production is in Mexico. While waiting for approval for the sale of marijuana pills in America, the company has been selling them to a drug lord in Mexico. Off the books, of course. Now that the sales have begun Richard wants to break his connection with the drug lord. That's not as easy as he thinks. The head of the Mexican factory is tortured. During a business trip Harold is mistakenly thought to be the company boss, so the dug lord wants to kidnap him. Richard sends his brother Mitch (Sharlto Copley), an ex-mercenary, to retrieve him. Or kill him. If he dies while on a business trip the insurance will pay the company five million dollars.


If that plot summary were everything, the film would have been much better. Now come all the subplots. Harold's wife is having an affair with Richard. But Richard is also having an affair with his business partner, Elaine Markinson (Charlize Theron). Charlize could also have been written out of the story. Harold isn't just kidnapped in Mexico, he also tries to stage a fake kidnapping to get the ransom money from his boss. And then there's Amanda Seyfried as Sunny, an innocent young woman who's talked into going to Mexico to pick up drugs with her boyfriend. And there's an undercover DEA agent. I'm sure I've forgotten other things. Honestly, too much is going on.

Harold is a tragically comic character. He believes the best of everyone. He considers his boss to be his friend, not realising that his boss would rather kill him than pay ransom money. He doesn't suspect for a moment that his loving wife is having an affair. Harold is naive to the point of stupidity, stumbling from one crisis into another. I didn't know whether to pity him or laugh at him.

It was difficult for me to take the characters played by Joel Edgerton and Charlize Theron at face value. They're both so downright evil that they're like caricatures. Joel plays basketball with his employees after work and ridicules the other team when he wins; he always wins, because they're afraid they'll be fired if they beat him. Charlize is a sexual predator; while sitting in a bar with a potential buyer for the company's pills, she tells him to take his penis out. "If I like the look of it we can go back to my place and have sex. If not, we'll just do business". Do women like that exist in the business world? I never met anyone who even comes close.

The film's talent is wasted. More effort should have been invested in the screenplay.

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'SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK' DOCUMENTARY CREEPING OUT THIS SPRING

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SCARY STORIES, the highly anticipated documentary about Alvin Schwartz’ iconic Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark book series, will debut in select theaters beginning 26th April via Wild Eye Releasing.

Explore the history of one of the most controversial works of modern children's literature: The best selling teen classic Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, which scared a generation of young readers and became one of the most banned books of modern times. SCARY STORIES creates both the ultimate celebration and dissertation of this iconic piece of horror literature.


Cody Meirick’s film features more than 40 interviews, from family members of author Alvin Schwartz, to fellow children's book horror authors like R.L Stine (Goosebumps) and Q.L. Pearce, to folklorists, artists and fans discussing the impact that the books have had on both themselves as well as the culture at large. The documentary also explores the various times in which the books were banned or targeted by parent and religious groups as ‘satanic’ or otherwise too macabre for its targeted teen scholastic audience.

Penned by Schwartz and illustrated by Stephen Gammell, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark is a three-volume series consisting of short horror stories for pre-teens and children that were adapted from American folklore and urban legends.  Because of some of the violent illustrations and the subject matter, parent groups, religious organizations and school boards had the books pulled from libraries and schools at various times. A feature film adaptation of the books, produced by horror icon Guillermo del Toro, is due in theaters this summer.



Following the limited theatrical release – which includes Los Angeles, New Orleans, Columbus, and Texas - SCARY STORIES will be available on VOD 7th May with a DVD release set for 16th July.


Pre-Code Parade: HALF SHOT AT SUNRISE (1930)

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My first encounter with Wheeler and Woolsey came when I was still a kid, when I discovered the PBS series Matinee at the Bijou. The idea was to recreate the old-time Saturday matinee with a program of short subjects, a serial chapter and a feature film from the 1930s or 1940s. The show used public-domain films, including Paul Sloane's service comedy, which for many years must have been most people's first encounter with the RKO comics. I remembered little of the film nearly forty years later, except that I was deeply unimpressed. It took several more experiments with the pair, thanks to Turner Classic Movies, before I warmed to them. When Half Shot at Sunrise (slang for "drunk") was run last week as part of a day of Wheeler and Woolsey films, it seemed like time at last to give the picture another try.

I remain unimpressed. Half Shot was RKO's first original screenplay for their team, who had hit big in support of Bebe Daniels in 1929's Rio Rita and then appeared in two more Broadway adaptations, including their first starring vehicle, The Cuckoos. Many hands, reportedly including those of an uncredited Roscoe "Fatty" Arbuckle, were involved in the screenplay. The result reduces Wheeler and Woolsey to a pair of generic girl-chases A.W.O.L. in World War I Paris. Woolsey has a stash of insignia and decorations allowing them to pass for any rank of soldier they please, and the pair are nimble enough to slip the armbands off a couple of MPs when needed. In the spirit of cherchez la femme these representative Americans try to hit on every female they encounter. Their seduction techniques include a lot of unfunny wordplay and even less funny fake French, all lacking the endearing naivete or the dyspeptic cunning that came to define Wheeler and Woolsey's screen personae in later films. It includes an interminable sequence at an outdoor cafe table where Wheeler desperately tries to get Woolsey to look into a mirror and notice the MP who is practically breathing over his shoulder. It really feels like you could have inserted any two comedians into the roles.

Strange to say, Half Shot hardly registers as a Wheeler and Woolsey movie until Dorothy Lee, Wheeler's usual dance and romantic partner on film, shows up as the colonel's daughter. From her arrival the film becomes more of a musical, as that was still expected from the team. My assumption is that most of the musical numbers were cut from the Matinee at the Bijou broadcast, since the movie runs 78 minutes on its own while the show ran for only 90 and had to pack in more content. They neither improve or degrade my opinion of the picture. The rest of it is wartime farce involving the confusion between secret military orders and equally confidential correspondence between the colonel and his French girlfriend, under the nose of his shrewish wife (Edna May Oliver). Everything works out for the best, of course, which is another way of saying that the film eventually ends. After this belated, and to an extent regretted second viewing, I can at least acknowledge that the film's failings aren't really Wheeler and Woolsey's fault; they were stuck with the material written for them. In hindsight, it was wrong for my younger self to hold this film against them, but it was impossible to know that until I'd seen more of them. First impressions aren't everything, I guess. Maybe I'll even enjoy a Ritz Brothers film someday.

LIN SHAYE THRILLER 'ROOM FOR RENT' OPENS THIS MAY

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The highly-anticipated suspense thriller ROOM FOR RENT, starring veteran actress Lin Shaye (the INSIDIOUS franchise, OUIJA), will be released in theaters and on digital this May.

ROOM FOR RENT, stars Shaye as a lonely widow who rents out a room in her house and becomes dangerously obsessed with one of her guests.


Official Synopsis:

Lonely widow Joyce rents out a room to make easy money.  She meets mysterious drifter Bob and takes him in as a long-term tenant.  She becomes obsessed with her much younger guest, making him the object of her deepest romantic fantasies.  When a friend’s betrayal derails Joyce’s fantasy world, she seizes control of her own destiny with a deadly mission to finally get what she deserves.




Uncork’d Entertainment will release ROOM FOR RENT in select theaters 3rd May and on digital 7th May.




Film Review: LOVE ME NOT (2019) (Short Film)

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LOVE ME NOT *** USA 2019 Dir: Michael Coulombe 11 mins 

On Valentine's day, set to a romantic operatic number, is a table decorated with candles, rose petals and notes of love. A young woman has invited all of her ex's over as she tries to get through to her current boyfriend that she will not be messed about with anymore.
Now might be a good time to point out that the boyfriend is bound, gagged and tied to a chair and the rest of the guests have been brutally murdered and positioned round the table in some kind of macabre intervention. Having a cast of only 2 living characters with the main focus being the psychotic, jilted woman Jenny (which Vanessa Esperanza plays with tremendous enthusiasm) it certainly show cases the female antagonist as the victim that has finally lost her shit ( "do you know how damaging that can be to a girl?" ). Dialogue heavy yet entertaining it is quite blood soaked even if the kills are off screen and the romantic classical score is a fitting backdrop to the final grim taunting of "He loves me. He loves me not"

Review by Sarah Budd




Film Review: OUIJAGEIST (2018)

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OUIJAGEIST **** UK 2018 Dir: John R Walker. 77 mins

Shot on location in Dudley and Switzerland, this is a witty, delightfully British spin on the 21st century possession cycle written by Steve Hardy and Darrell Buxton. While an overseas prologue hints at a massacre involving a missing Swiss banker, back in the West Midlands single mum Lois Wilkinson – coping with a baby and a loser / stoner ex – ill-advisedly dabbles with a “Witchboard” retrieved by her dog from the garden of her new home. Loyal mum Lesley Scoble (one of the kids in VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED, reprising a role from Walker and Hardy’s earlier AMITYVILLE PLAYHOUSE) provides support when a curse is unwittingly unleashed.
What follows isn’t ground breaking in genre terms, as OMEN-inspired “accidents” provide equal-opportunity dangers for pets, friends and babies, but the local colour makes it huge fun. Characters refer to the British tradition of blaming “bloody kids” and find comfort during supernatural peril in plates of French Fancies and packets of chocolate digestives. Curses are dismissed as “bloody rubbish”, Basil Exposition-style “experts” are written off for their “mumbo jumbo” and a chirpy window cleaner is harassed by his own, possessed hose. In a highlight, traumatised kids look on as one character projectile vomits his cup of tea (with four sugars) at a greasy spoon. Laurence Saunders steals all his scenes as a movie-buff priest inspired by THE EXORCIST’s Lt. Kinderman, offering an enthusiastic take on POLTERGEIST II and participating in a wonderful visual gag that puts a droll spin on a famous moment from the original POLTERGEIST (“I came in and hoovered…”). Refreshing humour aside, the movie also takes time to flesh out an appealing, likeable heroine – played with a natural screen presence by newcomer Wilkinson – and bows out with a circular downbeat ending in the tradition of its 1970’s forebears.

Review by Steven West





Quick Sips - Terraform April 2019

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Things get profoundly weird in these April short stories from Motherboard’s Terraform. Very. Very. Weird. From planets where people worship different body parts of their prophet to visions of the future or present where people experience alterations in their perception, the works are all about bending the rules of what makes logical sense in what might be attempts to shake and call into question the fundamental and assumed orderliness of the universe. It finds characters embracing the dark and the unknown, rushing into the jaws of chaos, and struggling against the feelings of stagnancy and inertia. There are some really strange works on display here, but I’m going to give it my best in reviewing them!

Stories:

“The Duchy of the Toe Adam” by Lincoln Michel (3041 words)

No Spoilers: Baldwin, Vivian, and the fish-like Aul-Wick are kind of terrible smugglers, so when they arrive at a planet of religious strife they’re hoping to cash in selling weapons and spice to all sides. What they get instead is a missile for their troubles and a ticket into the middle of a complicated struggle that has been spanning many generations between the devoted followers of the different parts of Adam. It’s a weird read, not precisely bizzaro but certainly a bit bizzare, the situation such that no one really knows the origins of the violence—just that they’re right in their worship of the correct part of Adam. For Baldwin and Vivian, they don’t care so much as figuring out how to make it back to their ship and leave the whole messed up planet in their wake. It’s a fast and fun piece, not worried overmuch with subtlety but not taking itself too seriously either, leading to a solidly entertaining experience.
Keywords: Cloning, Religion, War, Body Parts, Smuggling
Review: This story is one hell of a ride. It’s something where you just sort of strap in and enjoy what it throws at you because there’s blood and body parts flying around, sex and mutated mawbears, and a whole lot of clones. The action is visceral but doesn’t really get bogged down in gore. There’s a humor that fills in instead, that keeps things from getting too dark despite the messed up shit that is going on with this planet. People are dying over and over again, sects seeking always to annihilate each other, and into the middle of this come these smugglers just hoping to make a buck and who are not-exactly-prepared for the level of weird they find. To their credit, though, this all seems vaguely all in a days work, and they take to the intense strangeness as if they’ve passed through worse. And really at the core of the story I feel it’s about the ridiculousness of religious violence, the way that it sounds rather asinine when explained to outsiders. They kill each other because they can’t agree which of the clones of their dead leader was cloned first? But that’s always the general level of religious violence, that one set of beliefs cannot coexist with the other, and so it comes to blood. And because the beliefs are essentially cloned by raising religious children and by recruiting people into the faith, the violence continues. In the story, people are cloned over and over again, no side really earning a clear edge, because in some ways the goal is the static violence. Is to get people not to question why the fighting is going on, but rather that the fighting is necessary and right. Because it keeps Adam in power regardless of which body part is represented. It props up this corrupt system that requires people to fight and die and never rewards them. And it’s a sharp and dashing romp, entertaining as h*ck and very much worth checking out!

“Orphic Hymns” by Grant Maierhofer (10142 words)

No Spoilers: The narrator in this story is a specialist in fungi, in organisms that can survive in space. And after falling into something of a deep funk, they are recruited by a man named Klimt who is putting together a mission to the edge of the solar system, to the furthest humanity will have physically touched. It’s a project that is from the start something of a cult experience, where Klimt is charismatic but just a bit...off. Manic and exciting about going out this far on the promise of a black growth on the hull of an unmanned craft that is now stranded out beyond Pluto. It’s a piece that weaves together a need to move and grow and push boundaries and a weight, a sorrow, and a deep exhaustion that the narrator feels through the entire piece. It’s not exactly a story I suggest reading while sleepy, but it’s a careful exploration of hope and space exploration, humanity and change.
Keywords: Space, Fungi, Exploration, Pluto, Science!
Review: This story does an interesting job of exploring what it means for humans to leave the Earth behind. The story is a strange one, building around the only-quasi-coherent ramblings of Klimt, who is desperate to go out beyond Pluto and who links that to this grand destiny of humanity, to embracing possibilities of life completely outside our experience because it’s outside the reach of our sun. And he has this power to his convictions that inspires people, largely it seems because there’s so many people frustrated with the way things are. With the pace of expansion. With the lack of something...romantic about the push into space. It’s a setting where lunar and martian colonization is happening, is real, and yet it feels almost mundane, to the point that when the narrator hears about going so far, it’s enough to bring him out of his basement and his steady work and into space. And yet his vision is one that doesn’t really meet up with the caution necessary for scientific discovery. He’s manic to the point that he ends up dooming his own mission, because for him it wasn’t about the hope of humanity, but his own desire to put himself outside known experience. For the narrator, the whole thing takes him so far away from his humanity only to return him to it, to reground himself in his life and his human connections. It’s a rather haunting experience, given what happens, a shock given how ponderous the rest of the story is to that point. It’s weird but it’s also rather lovely, a glimpse at the dark and cold of space and a feeling of the warmth that humans cling to stepping out into it. A fine read!

“Primary Color” by Zoe Goldstein (823 words)

No Spoilers: This is a viscerally strange story, and one that plays with reality and dreams, computers and physicality. It finds the narrator, a person who codes birds into the sky, who might code the sky itself, as they meet a woman from a gas station and the two explore their possibilities and alternate realities. The piece flows in some very weird ways, working in almost a stream of consciousness way but grounded by the narrator and their relationship with this pink-haired girl. It reveals a world that for the narrator at least is fluid, half code and half all the things they are trying to avoid. It’s unclear to me if this is a future, or just a way of reframing the present, but it makes for a rather poetic read, beautiful and lonely.
Keywords: Sex, Birds, Skies, Computers, Sleep
Review: I really like how the narrator moves through this world, so obviously looking for ways to put themselves into a space more digital, less physical. They code all day, and see around them a sort of blurring between the real world and what might be a game world. At least to me, part of their drive is a sort of annihilation into the digital, into a space where they wouldn’t have to sleep, wouldn’t have to touch or be touched but where they could also be a part of the code, touching everything, a part of everything. For me, they have this desire to dissolve, to get away from their body, which they inhabit like a bad tenant, moving about aimlessly and just a bit dissociated from what they’re doing. The pink-haired girl is someone they meet and it’s like going through the motions of a relationship. They have sex and there is something there but it’s distant, the narrator seeming to me to just do what’s expected of them and maybe a bit curious if being with someone else will help to break them from their drives, from their loneliness. And...well, for me the story explores how it does and doesn’t, how they imagine they might change because of this, how they imagine they might change if they reject this and try maybe to become something else. And it’s such a weird story that for me gets at the ways people can be isolated, not just because of their work but because of their despairs and their needs and their hopes, and how for some people freedom exists in code, in a blurring of reality. It’s a trippy piece that is definitely worth spending some time with, and it’s a lovely read!

“Rapid Enlightenment Machine” by Anna I. Wu (820 words)

No Spoilers: Somehow it’s most often Terraform where I end up saying that it would be difficult to spoil a story if I tried, and it’s true again with this deeply strange piece about a person who agrees to go into a kind of sensory deprivation chamber designed to provoke in the person experiencing it...well, it’s kind of hard to say. The story is weird, flowing perhaps with the dissolution of the person that might happen with sensory deprivation, where the main character of the piece, the second person “You,” slough away in the darkness without the senses to ground you to the physical world. The piece is rather haunting, the entry into the chamber a sort of organic trap, alive and disgusting and yet compelling, dark, and emotionally resonating.
Keywords: Sensory Deprivation, Parents, CW- Pregnancy, Enlightenment
Review: For me, the story is about the terror but also the release that comes with doing something like sensory deprivation. It’s framed as a kind of short cut to the profound, a way of confronting things that otherwise are buried too deep. The piece is weird and really sets a creepy scene with the character, with You being drawn into what you expect will be only boring, but which turns out to be much more unsettling. There’s something alive about the experience, something that plays into what it might feel like to be inside a womb, to be a mixture of two parents with different and sometimes opposed views. Your experience is at the same time a violation and an insight, and it provokes in you an anger and a resistance. You recoil at the intrusion, at where you are taken inside this space, and you demand release. And yet there is something about it that is intimate and compelling, that does give you...not a thrill exactly. But it gets past your defenses to something real and profound and experiencing that, something so real and raw, has an appeal that grows, that pulls at you like it’s a cliff you want to jump off of, knowing that there is a parachute and other limits in place that make it safe. Only there’s also something dangerous I feel about it, that the safety might only be temporary or illusory, and for me there’s a lingering darkness in the question of what happens if you delve too deep, and to willingly. It’s a strange and interesting experience, and it’s a story that’s definitely worth spending some time with!

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Senin, 29 April 2019

Mini Retro Review: The Mangler (1995) #badmovies

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The Mangler
1995
Horror



The idea of a laundry machine sucking people up and killing them is a great one for a horror film, I'd rather it was set in say a person's house or local laundromat and the washing machine was possessed and it ended up killing and swallowing up anyone who comes into contact with it. It'll be far more appealing and idealistic than what is presented here. The killer inanimate object thing could have used more work to make it look scarier and despite the gory effects and scenes, it didn't induce any amount of terror and fear from me. For a movie that is supposed to take itself seriously, seeing that thing it looked like a typical industrial and household appliance. The industrial setting just didn't click with me and none of the characters resonated with me, nor were the so-called victims and protagonists empathetic enough. The opening 10 mins were entertaining at most. The detective story took up way too much time and with that coming across as laboured, The Mangler becomes far less of a horror flick than it is intended. I didn't like Robert England's character very much, not because he was evil and he chewed up some of the scenery, but his cockiness just rubbed me up the wrong way and acting is mostly average, based on the ineffective script (Flubber & The Silence of the Lambs' Ted Levine is largely ineffective in a non-typecast lead role). Taking away the horror aspects, The Mangler's story is banal.


Is It Worth Watching?

Not Really



Overall: 

Film Review: IN UTERO (2019)

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IN UTERO *** USA 2019 Dir: Royce Freeman 84 mins


IN UTERO is an independent thriller by Royce Freeman, director of the 2012 thriller RAPTURE. This new thriller follows a gang consisting of two females and a male who kidnap a young woman and a pregnant woman named Skylar. Zoe is the female leader of the group who unfortunately due to an accident lost her unborn child, but her need to be a mother has led her down a dark path that Skylar's unborn child may fulfill.
The young girl of the antagonists Raven, is the real tortured soul in this film, struggling within herself to stand up to her psychopathic saviors especially the male, her growing love for one of the kidnapped women and the birth of an innocent child being born into a terrible situation. As the film progresses we see more and more of how the antagonists came to be together and how the kidnap victims just was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The whole cast of this movie performed well but special mention must go to Faneal Godbold as Zoe, who for me was the standout star.  Royce Freeman has crafted a near perfect throwback to the grindhouse movies of yesteryear with IN UTERO that will leave viewers thrilled to the final scene and wondering, what they would do to save a life?

Review by Peter 'Witchfinder' Hopkins


Movie Review: The Haunting of Sharon Tate

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The Haunting of Sharon Tate no stars / *****
Directed by: Daniel Farrands.
Written by: Daniel Farrands.
Starring: Hilary Duff (Sharon Tate), Jonathan Bennett (Jay Sebring), Lydia Hearst (Abigail Folger), Pawel Szajda (Wojciech Frykowski), Ryan Cargill (Steven Parent), Bella Popa (Sadie), Fivel Stewart (Yellow), Tyler Johnson (Tex Watson), Ben Mellish (Charles Manson).
 
I imagine the reason why The Haunting of Sharon Tate got made was because Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is also coming out this year, which in part is about the Manson murders, which has its 50th Anniversary this year. The film is basically the worst case scenario of what Tarantino’s film may look like if he were to do something similar to what he did in both Inglorious Basterds and Django Unchained, which is to rewrite horrific times in history as a revenge thriller – an alternate history of how things could have turned out. And yet, I think there is a difference between alternate history, and what Daniel Farrands and company have done with The Haunting of Sharon Tate. While Inglorious Basterds used fictional characters – fictional Jewish families, fictional Nazis, etc. (with a real people thrown in at the sides), Daniel Farrands have used real people, in a real situation. There is a difference between Tarantino’s Shosanna exacting revenge on the Nazis, and what happens here. It would be as if in Tarantino’s film, he had made a film in which Anne Frank and those in the attic become kick ass Nazi killers. One is a legitimate use of alternate history, the other is just gross exploitation. And that is what The Haunting of Sharon Tate is.
 
The movie uses a supposed quote by Tate, a year before the murders, where she foretold her own murders (the sourcing of that quote is highly dubious to begin with) to essentially make this film’s version Tate (played, in an awful performance, by Hilary Duff) into some kind of psychic, receiving premonitions of the upcoming murders. The first half of the movie sees Tate as a woman who is uncomfortable in her own home – lashing out at the people who were staying there for her as she and her husband (an unseen Roman Polanski) were away. The film doesn’t quite blame victims Abigail Folger and Wojciech Frykowski for the murders, but it doesn’t not blame them either. Tate is haunted by visions of people breaking into her home, upset that a strange man named Charlie keeps stopping by to talk to the former resident of the home. A tape – playing an actual Charles Manson written song – just starts playing one night. Her beloved dog runs off and is later found horrifically murdered. A walk in the Hollywood Hills turns creepy when two young women seemingly stalk Tate and Folger. None of this – as far as I can tell – is based on anything other than that dubious quote a year before the murders from Tate where she had a bad dream.
 
With about 45 minutes left in the movie, the Manson family members invade the home – and in the audience you prepare yourself for what you think may be an extended bloodbath. But Farrands actually dispatches with the murders – the way we know them – fairly quickly. He then circles back – with Tate waking up in the middle of the night as if it had been a dream. She spends the next day increasingly paranoid about what is going to happen that night – and when the Manson family comes back and attacks them again, this time they are ready. The five victims are able to band together, and fight off the attackers – ending with this version of Tate looking at the dead bodies of herself and the other victims, as if in another dimension.
 
There are lots of things you could pick apart here. The historical inaccuracies here are a lot – it leaves out the caretaker in the back trailer who survived the attacks altogether, as if he didn’t exist. It does the same thing to the other Manson girl who was along for the ride, and saw everything, but didn’t participate but who became the star witness. Poof, they aren’t there, because, of course, it doesn’t really fit the narrative. Pretty much everything in the first half of the movie is just completely made up. There are more – a lot more – things that don’t match the historical record. And that is the least of the problems with the movie.
 
The acting is terrible. I don’t know what Duff is trying to do with her accent – she is trying to match Tate’s somewhat strange high class little accent, but doesn’t get it right, and just sounds strange. But at least she seems to be trying to do something. The rest of the cast basically seems bored, and are going through the motions. The dialogue is laughably bad. The direction is horrible – trying to scare the audience with a bunch of cheap jump scares. The whole movie has the look and feel of a cheap made for TV movie.
 
But my biggest problem with the movie is really what it implies about the victims here. That they brought it on themselves, that if only they had fought back, they could have survived. It’s an offensive reframing of history, treating the Manson murders as a cheap entertainment, and then blaming the victims for their own demise. Turning the whole thing into a kind of supernatural home invasion thriller. Tarantino has been criticized for the way he handled Inglorious Basterds and Django Unchained – not unfairly, but not in a way I agree with either. But he didn’t approach things like this. And I do not believe he will do it in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood – but we shall see. But no matter what, I don’t believe it is possible for him to make a worse film than The Haunting of Sharon Tate – or anyone else this year for that matter. As for Farrands, I don’t think he’s learned anything. His next film is called The Murder of Nicole Brown Simpson.

Film Review: DARK FLOORS (2008)

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DARK FLOORS *** Finland 2008 Dir: Pete Riski 85 mins

This film features the LORDI band line up from The Arockalypse era, of course, playing themselves, as the monster element of this film. The main plot is centred in a hospital, a father, Noah Huntley (28 Days Later, Dracula Untold) takes his wheelchair bound Autistic daughter, Sarah, in for a brain scan as she is getting increasingly more insular and drawing dark pictures of monsters. There is a power cut and Ben (Huntley) in his frustration at the time it’s taking to investigate his daughter’s problems takes her into a lift and attempts to leave.
A nurse, Emily, played by Dominque McElligott (Moon) jumps in with them to try and persuade them to stay. When the lift door opens to the next floor the whole hospital has changed, its dark, deserted and destroyed, there are hideous monsters lurking, killing and hunting for Sarah. Ben, Emily and 3 other passengers from the lift must fight for their freedom or die trying. Again this is a format that has been done many a time but the dark lighting and camera work creates an intense atmosphere and it moves more swiftly than THE KIN. Lordi themselves do a fantastic job and we get to see a bit more of them this time although I cant help thinking they could’ve played a bigger part still. They wrote and performed the song over the end credits called “Beast Loose in Paradise”. The other characters are quite engaging but occasionally flat on delivery, that being said it is, of course, worth a watch.

Review by Sarah Budd





BRAND NEW SERIES 'SHARE YOUR SCARE' NOW ON AMAZON

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Jalbert Brothers Studio took you to the edge of the paranormal with there hit series, Haunted Tours.

Now, in this brand new series, Share Your Scare, they take you one step beyond. It's the only show out there that truly drives into the REALITY of paranormal activity.


Have you ever had a paranormal experience or heard something go "Bump in the Night"?

In this spine tingling series hosted by internationally renowned Psychic Medium Valentina Lomborg, we will sit down and listen to real experiences. These are real stories by real people, with real scares. These encounters are guaranteed to keep you looking over your shoulder and sleeping with one eye open.


Share Your Scare - Season 1 Episode Guide 


1. Black Cloud

A family has an experience with a black ominous cloud that none of them can explain and feel threatened by what could be poltergeist activity.


2. Bloody Fetus

Paranormal investigators encounter a victorian-era ghost and a shocking apparition of a floating, bloody, baby fetus.


3. Haunted House

Shattering glass, lights turning off and ghosts manifesting all over the house. A family haunting that could make you think twice about moving in


4. The Passing

A cop of 25 years has numerous experiences that involve the deceased and another with two mischievous spectres that manifest themselves in a pub.


5. It Follows

Have you ever been on a Haunted Tour? In this episode a young woman has an encounter with a spirit that follows her home and gives her the scare of her life.


6. A Father's Love

A Monopoly car and a gold coin? A deceased father makes an effort to stay in contact with his daughter in some unique and unusual ways.


7. Demonic Lust

A psychic medium has a disturbing experience with an incubus demon which causes our very own host to open up and describe how in the past she herself was sexually abused by the same type of entity.


You can watch the entire series of Share Your Scare on Amazon Prime.





Kiss of the Dragon (3½ Stars)

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Liu-Jan (Jet Li) is a Chinese police man sent to Paris to help the French police arrest a Chinese drug dealer. The French police chief kills the drug dealer and frames Liu-Jan. While on the run he meets a prostitute, Jessica (Bridget Fonda), whose daughter is being held hostage by the police chief to force her to work for him.

First the plus: Jet Li is always an excellent martial artist, and the fight scenes in this film don't disappoint. The most spectacular scene is when he enters a police station, alone and unarmed, and fights his way through. He's unfortunate enough to walk into a police karate training room. Do they really have them in police stations?

Then the minus: After watching the film I have no idea why the police chief killed the drug dealer. What did he have to gain from it? There are possible explanations, but if I named them it would just be speculation. The film itself doesn't tell us his motivation.

I was also disappointed with Bridget Fonda's role in the film. In films like this the two people aid one another in a common goal. In "Kiss of the Dragon" the prostitute does very little for Liu-Jan. She can testify against the police chief, but Liu-Jan already has a videotape with enough evidence to do without her.

Overall, this is a pleasant film, but far below the quality of Jet Li's Chinese films.

Success Rate:  + 0.6

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I've had my first feedback on my "Success Rate" for films. It took a while. I've been adding it to my film reviews, if available, for almost 12 months. Maybe nobody noticed it.

There was a complaint about the ratings of two films, "Avengers: Age of Ultron" (+1.2) and "Happy Death Day" (+23.5). "You can't possibly be saying that Happy Death Day was twenty times as successful as Age Of Ultron?"

My success rate is purely proportional, based on the return from the money invested. I could pick more extreme examples. "Titanic" has a success rate of only +8.9, whereas "Supervixens" has a success rate of +168.

Let's take the following examples.

Film 1 has a budget of $1 million dollars and earns $10 million at the box office.
Film 2 has a budget of $10 million dollars and earns $100 million at the box office.

Both of these films have the same success rate, +8.0, but people would intuitively say that the second film is more successful. I see the problem. My proportional rating system is a disadvantage for successful big budget films. On the other hand, I like the way it shows that films like "Supervixens" made a lot of money, relative to their budget. A rating system that simply says how many millions a film has earned would lose that.

The best alternative would be some sort of combination between proportional and absolute income. I could give a film 0.1 points per million dollars earned to give an absolute score, then take the average of the two scores; or I could calculate both scores, then use the larger of the two scores. I don't know. I have all the films I've rated so far in a spreadsheet, so I can play around with different calculation methods until I get results that seem realistic. Until then I'll stick with my proportional rating.

Mini Movie Review: Top Cat The Movie (2011) #badmovies

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Top Cat: The Movie
2011
Animation 



Hanna Barbera -based animated films have been few and far between, as a fan of HB, I so wished I saw more movies based on the Jetsons, Johnny Bravo and even lesser fare such as Dynomutt: Dog Wonder, Hong Kong Phooey and not just Scooby-Doo, although a Jonny Quest film courtesy of Robert Rodriguez is looming, and this is in live-action form. I sort of enjoyed Top Cat the cartoon and whilst it is not my favourite Hanna-Barbera show, it was still good for what it was. The voice acting here isn't bad, but the idea not to base the plot in the alleyway where they live, is a mistake and the script is barren and too dull for words. The decision to opt for 2D animation garners a mixed reception from me: whilst it looks all right design wise, it would have been better if the characters were given the CGI treatment. If Hanna-Barbera as an animation company still existed to this day, they would have given T.C and his crew a better-animated feature film than the one we got via Mexico. The story was too dull and killed my enthusiasm towards it. This Top Cat was far from top; rather it is too uninspired and lacks any sort of charm and wit that made the original series a winner in fans' eyes. 


Is It Worth Watching?

Not really


Overall:

Quick Sips - Tor dot com April 2019

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Art by Keith Negley
April marks a rather full month of short SFF releases from Tor dot com with three short stories and a novelette, a mix of science fiction, fantasy, and horror, all of it unfolding in the “real world,” though sometimes twisted by technology, sometimes touched by magic, and always heavy with a waiting darkness. The stories certainly lean on the dark side of things, revolving around exploitation, grief, and death. That might come in the form of a family who transforms when they die into heirlooms for their relatives to treasure and care for, or in the form of a military experiment targeting a person who can’t feel physical pain but can definitely experience other kinds. There’s artificial intelligences helping to facilitate social justice, and even a creepy dog who might hide a menacing secret. It’s an eclectic month of fiction, to say the least, offering a solid tour of how SFF approaches death, recovery, and hope. To the reviews!

Stories:

“One/Zero” by Kathleen Ann Goonan (10249 words)

No Spoilers: Split between two points of view, this story follows Mai, an aging woman who has dedicated most of her life fighting for social justice around the world, and Vida, a young person from Kurdistan made refugee when almost all of their family is killed on their younger brother’s third birthday. The piece is stark and does not look away from the horrors of conflict, plague, and injustice. Vida’s story sharply contrasts Mai’s, which is much more concerned with her health in a very affluent way, living around Washington DC and dealing with an increasingly invasive medical technology. The whole piece circles around AI, and specifically superintelligences (SI) and their potential to change the world, or at the very least help it to be changed. It’s a story about change and hope in the face of horror, and it’s a moving, complex read.
Keywords: AIs, Refugees, CW- Atrocities, CW- PTSD, Health, Privacy, Rights
Review: I love how the story looks at change, and looks at how SIs might develop and be used. On the one hand, Mai deals with a very invasive kind of AI which is trying to make her “healthy,” but by healthy it means meeting a standard of health. It tries to make her conform to recommendations for what she’s “supposed to be” and that extends to mental health as well, the program pushing her and other people into a sort of homologous state. Meanwhile Vida is much more concerned with just surviving and then, as time passes and they get access to a SI, thinking about what comes next. And really that’s the where the story focuses in my opinion. On the question of what happens next. The characters all inherit something of a broken world. Full of abuses and troubles and things that the medical AI want to fix by adjusting people’s minds so that they’re just okay with the way things are. Making them feel better about there being terrible things happening. For Vida, though, that’s never really an option. There is no amount of mental tweaking that would allow them to be okay with what’s happening. Instead, they have to navigate forward in a way that reaches for justice, that reaches for meaningful change. And they get there by focusing on children and their potential to imagine a different world. And especially for those who aren’t really invested in the way things are because they’ve been so personally hurt by it. And giving them the tools to build something, to cooperate, and to shape a world into being, supported by the resources and processing power of an SI. The different between the two approaches is wonderfully explored and I like the way that Mai comes to see the value in what’s being done, in giving up the vision of progress that her health AI presents her with, and goes back out to fight for the world that the children are creating. It’s a strange but hopeful story that seems to revel in the wonder of the human spirit, and the potential of young people to create a better world, if given half a chance. A great read!

“Blue Morphos in the Garden” by Lis Mitchell (4869 words)

No Spoilers: The story opens when Vivian’s daughter Lily appears to announce that her grandmother is turning into butterflies. It’s an almost shocking way to start things off except that it’s not played as particularly strange. It’s just that Lily’s partner’s family has a way of Passing that involves transforming into something that will stay on at the ancestral estate. It’s a strange blessing/curse that Viv has some feelings about, complicated by her own place in the family, or outside of it, and her feelings about death and dying. It’s a difficult story at times, confronting the “meaning” of death and what a person should want to do with their passing. And it’s messy, careful, and gloriously messy.
Keywords: Death, Transformation, Funerals, CW- Terminal Illness, Family, Stories
Review: I love the messy situation that Vivian finds herself in, both inside and outside this family that doesn’t die like other people die. Because she’s in this situation that’s rather religiously tinged for me, where the people around her are pressuring her to see death as this one thing, as this chance of Passing into a different state of being, of still being of use to the family, of still be present in some way. It speaks to an afterlife that Vivian doesn’t feel a pull toward. She doesn’t want to meddle, doesn’t want to linger, doesn’t want to be a weight on her daughter. When she goes she wants to be gone and done, food for the worms, and it’s a resonating drive she has, especially since death is something she has to think about quite a bit, what with her own health deteriorating with some sort of genetic illness. It’s something she argues with her partner about. Partner, because they never married, because doing so would link her into his family’s magic, into the cycle of death and transformation that she wants no part of. And yet no one really gives her peace about it, won’t accept that she could be happier and satisfied not Passing into something else. Not wanting to still be around and used by the family for...whatever. But I really like that, because it shows that she sees death so differently, not as something that requires another step. Not as something made better by the addition of a new wardrobe or desk or chair. And there’s something that speaks to me about not wanting death to be...softened I guess in that way. There’s an implication that these objects the dead have become are still that person, and yet that puts such a burden on the living to care for them and to never accidentally damage them. To stay rooted to this one spot, to this one way of doing things. That might be beautiful for some, but might also be a bit horrific for others. And I like that it deals with how Vivian chooses to face her death, standing up to the familial pressure to make things easier not just for her partner but for their daughter, who might much more easily accept a death tinged in magic rather than one that seems more...mundane. A wonderful and nuanced read!

“Painless” by Rich Larson (5409 words)

No Spoilers: Mars has been part of a military experiment since he was a young boy, picked up because he is unable to feel pain. He is made into a killer, an assassin, and yet through it all he is isolated, alone, kept separate from everyone else. He has an organism inside him now that allows him to heal incredibly rapidly, and he’s got a plan for maybe being able to take his life back. First, though, he’s looking for someone, and the story follows him on his mission, in all its blood and hunger and death. The piece is quick and violent, showing Mars’ transformation from the young boy being exploited for money to the man exploited for power to the fugitive trying to figure out how to live for himself. It’s rather fun, with a yearning feeling as he reaches for something he’s never really known, a pain that he can’t begin to describe.
Keywords: Pain, Military Experiments, Healing, CW- Cannibalism, CW- Suicide
Review: This story in some ways puts me in the mind of superheroes, not least of all because it does rather feature a man with superpowers. He’s got a healing factor and a great deal of military training and uses it to deadly effect here, creating a visceral and blood-soaked piece. More than that, though, I feel the piece seeks to examine the different kinds of pain a person can experience, and how Mars only misses out on the physical pain. The emotional pain he feels is no less real, though, and he has severe trauma and issues stemming from that, to the point where he tries to kill himself. Which, in turn, gives him something to live for, something to seek out and connect with. It gives him a route through his isolation and to a point where he can experience the third kind of pain that the story introduces only at the end—love. At least that’s what the story feels like to me, bringing Mars to the point where he can feel affection and love, which manifests in some ways as pain, but one that’s warm and affirming. One that he wants to experience more, even if it hurts with how many ways it could go wrong, with all the doubts and fears and insecurities he has. It’s a piece that builds up his story well, showing just how much he’s been damaged even if he doesn’t bear the physical scars. He’s still got the psychological ones, and yet he still chooses to try and get himself out of the cycle, to put distance between himself and his past. To try and imagine a future that isn’t about killing. It’s a rather brutal piece, but not without a little heart. It’s not perhaps all that surprising a read, but I think it’s well constructed and executed and worth checking ou. Indeed!

“Mama Bruise” by Jonathan Carroll (6345 words)

No Spoilers: A woman and a man who are married have to navigate a rather strange situation after their dog begins to exhibit some...unusual behavior. The piece is told a little jumbled and without names for any of the primary characters, focusing instead on relationships and the way that the dog and its power complicate and endanger the lives of its owners. The voice of the story is...odd, the perspective not exactly the woman or the man but rather some other observer following everything, relating the story as if speaking directly to the reader. The effect is a piece that seems to me part horror, part contemporary rumination on death and returns, and part ghostly conspiracy about resurrection, aging, and addiction.
Keywords: Dogs, Reincarnation. Marriage, Death, Communication
Review: This is a really odd story for me, and one that has a lot of things going on and a very distinct way of revealing them. I actually am not sure what I think of the narrative style, which is rather...blunt with the actions going on. There are moments of intimacy and fear within the piece, of revealing the quirks and characters of the two dog owners, but at the same time things just sort of Happen. The events with their dog suddenly...realizing...that it’s the reincarnation of the woman’s dead father is related matter-of-factly, and by that time it’s not like it’s completely unreasonable, but I’m struggling to really capture the sort of...soft impact the story manages with all of the weird things that happen. The couple just sort of...accepts them and moves on. Not treating these events like they’re normal but not really Doing Much about them. The piece I feel works this into a discussion of aging parents whose minds have perhaps slipped or been damaged by substance abuse. The ghost dad here is now a dog, and that means sometimes only a dog and sometimes a lucid human and sometimes a much more confused and erratic human and also he might be some sort of reincarnation...outlaw or fugitive because he remembers the past life and there might be...time agents or ghosts or...something after him but that’s all really just guesswork and the real question is more about if the couple is good for each other, the two of them in a somewhat rocky relationship where they’ve broken each other’s trust and aren’t doing a great job of getting it back. So perhaps it is a story about Something Big happening, something big that really should be faced and managed but instead it’s just sort of talked around and accepted and lived with, though it’s not really making anyone happy and is in fact rather dangerous (only also it can give ghost money and that’s huh?). So this is a bit of a confusing piece for me, but it’s also a rather interesting one, and I certainly recommend people check it out for themselves to see what you think.

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