Jumat, 30 Juni 2023

Wolverine (4 Stars)

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The official name of this film is "The Wolverine", but most fans call it "Wolverine 2", without an article. I call it "Wolverine" as a compromise. It's  the second Wolverine film, following "X-Men Origins: Wolverine", but whether or not it's a sequel is a matter of debate.

My last review, six years ago, was very short because I was suffering from writer's block. This review is also short, but for a different reason: I'm short of time while I'm on holiday. That's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it!

Success Rate:  + 4.1

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Kamis, 29 Juni 2023

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (3 Stars)

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The title of this film makes me think that Marvel intended to make a series of origin films about the different X-Men. Fourteen years have passed, and there still aren't any more films. There used to be origin stories in the early issues of the X-Men comics (X-Men #38 to #57). These stories could have been adapted for films. It was a missed chance.

Success Rate:  + 0.5

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Thor: Ragnarok (4 Stars)

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How many Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) films have been made so far? I guessed that it was 32, but I had to check before I continued writing. I was right. Thirty-two films. It looks like even more then I write 32 in words. I couldn't put them in the right order. To help myself, I've put a little green sticker with the number on the spine of my MCU Blu-rays.

While I'm in England I'll be watching the Marvel films (MCU or otherwise) in random order. My son-in-law Mehdi hasn't seen them all, so I'll leave the decision up to him what comes next. "Thor: Ragnarok" is a good choice.

Success Rate:  + 2.7

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Senin, 26 Juni 2023

Avengers: Endgame (5 Stars)

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For the last week I've been watching films on Netflix. Today I realised that I could access my Disney Plus account while I'm travelling, so I have access to dozens of wonderful Marvel films. So I sat down with my son-in-law and asked him what he wanted to watch. He picked "Avengers: Endgame". An excellent choice.

While we were watching my daughter Fiona came in the room and asked what crappy film we were watching. She should have remembered that she'd already seen in twice in the cinema in May 2019. The second time was with me, as recorded in my blog. Even without checking my blog I could remember it clearly, because it was my only ever visit to a 4DX movie. (My review on 16th May 2019 describes what that is). Even so, Fiona has completely forgotten it. Memory is a strange thing. Sometimes I can clearly remember things that happened 40 years ago, but I forget what I did last week.

"Avengers: Endgame" is too spectacular to be forgotten.

Success Rate:  + 5.8

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Minggu, 25 Juni 2023

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (4 Stars)

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Any film starring Nicolas Cage is a pleasure to watch. He's often accused of over-acting, but that's exactly what I like about him. He's been criticised for the way he yells "Not the bees" in "The Wicker Man", but people just don't get it. He delivers the line in a way that only he could deliver it.

In "The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent" Nicolas Cage is making fun of himself. He even references the Not-The-Bees line. He plays himself at a period of crisis in his life. Other reviews claim he's playing a fictionalised version of himself, but that's only partly true. He's playing himself as others see him.

Nick Cage, as he calls himself, is convinced of his own talent, and he's disappointed that others don't recognise his talent. After being turned down for a major role he decides to quit acting. His agent persuades him to accept a one million dollar offer to appear at the birthday party of the billionaire Javi Gutierrez in Majorca. Easy money?

When Nick arrives he finds out that Javi is a big fan of his. He's written a screenplay, and he wants Nick to star in the film. Nick finds the script amateurish, but he becomes close friends with Javi and feels tempted to accept the offer.

Unknown to Javi, Nick is approached by two CIA agents. They tell him that Javi has become rich from arms dealing, and he's kidnapped the daughter of an anti-crime Spanish politician to persuade him to drop out of an upcoming election. They want him to spy on Javi, but Nick refuses to believe that his friend could do something like this.

The film is twisted, not really a comedy, but full of irony. If you're a Nicolas Cage fan you'll love the film, and if you don't like him you'll love it even more.

By the way, it really is Thursday today!

Success Rate:  - 1.0

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Nobody (4 Stars)

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This is an action thriller made in 2021. The nobody in the title is Hutch Mansell, a middle-aged man living a dull life with a dull repetitive job. One night thieves break into his home. Despite having the advantage over them, he lets them leave with his watch and a small amount of cash. His wife and son think he's a coward, but he actually had pity on the thieves because they seemed desperate.

As the film progresses, there's another incident which shows what he's really made of. While taking a bus home he sees a woman being harassed by a group of men. He beats them up, killing one of them. The dead man is the reckless young brother of a Russian crime lord. Hutch has a background as an assassin, and he engages in a war with the Russian mob.

"Nobody" isn't a bad film, but it has so much in common with "John Wick" that I have to accuse it of plagiarism. There's nothing wrong with films copying ideas from older films, but "John Wick" is too recent and the copying is too intense. I've read that a sequel is planned. It's unnecessary.

Success Rate:  + 1.6

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Jumat, 23 Juni 2023

General: Best of Cinema

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On the first Tuesday of every month my cinema participates in a Best of Cinema event. A film is shown which is considered to be a masterpiece of cinema. I've already seen most, but not all of the films. If my schedule allows it, I try to be in the cinema for every film. So far, 18 films have been shown, and the next six films have already been announced.

Are the films shown really the best films ever made? Who picked them? My guess is that they're the personal choice of a film critic at Kabel Eins, the television studio that created the Best of Cinema event. There's no significance to the order in which the films are shown. Complaints might be made about the omissions, but it's an ongoing film series, so nothing has been omitted. If your favourite film isn't in the list, wait till next year. Or the year after that. So please only comment on what's in the list, not what isn't. As far as I can tell, the only restriction in the list is that only films that have been picked which have been given a 4K restoration. With the exception of "Perfume", 2006, every film is at least 20 years old.

So here's the list. Please write your comments below.

2022


2023


Kamis, 22 Juni 2023

Pixels (5 Stars)

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I watched this film two months ago, but it's worth watching again, isn't it? If I'm limited to the film selection on Netfix, I should at least pick out the best films. Maybe "Pixels" should even be in my top 100 films list. I'll think it over.

I noticed today how many extras are used in the film. No expenses were spared in making a good film. But it still made a profit.

Success Rate:  + 0.8

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Blood & Gold (5 Stars)

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I'm one of the few people to have seen this film on the big screen. It's a Netflix exclusive film that will (probably) never be released on disc. I was fortunate to be able to see it at the Stuttgart Nights Festival. Netflix has its place, but a film as spectacular as "Blood & Gold" deserves to be seen in the cinema.

At the moment I'm visiting my daughter. She doesn't have a DVD or Blu.ray player, so I'll be watching a lot of films on Netflix over the next two weeks. In other words, it'll be Thursday every day. My reviews might be short some days, because I have less time on my hands than usual. My blog will revert to its original purpose as a film diary, not a film review site.

Sabtu, 17 Juni 2023

I Shot Andy Warhol (4 Stars)

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This is the second biopic directed by Mary Harron that I watched this evening. There's a law of diminishing return in my blog. The more often I watch a film, the less I'm able to write about it. So all I'll say is that it's about Valerie Solanas, and I'll point you to my previous posts.



At the end of my 2022 post I mentioned a friend who's written a new version of the SCUM Manifesto. I met her again last year while I was visiting England and encouraged her to finish her Manifesto. When it's finally finished, my blog is the first place you'll be able to read it.

Anna Nicole (4 Stars)

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This evening I watched two biopics directed by Mary Harron. The first was about Anna Nicole Smith. While I can't claim to like her as a person, the film gives fascinating insight into her life.

Curiously, my 2021 post about the film has been getting a lot of hits over the last five weeks, pushing it up to the sixth place in my popular posts list.


This screenshot of my reader statistics should give you an impression of what's happening. There was never much interest in the post, not even in 2021 when I first wrote it. Then suddenly it was noticed on 16th May this year. Whatever had sparked the interest, it only lasted 12 days. It was quiet for two days, and now there have been a lot of hits for the last two days. I'm curious how it will continue. My readers are strange.

I check my statistics every day. I can tell the difference between genuine traffic and fake traffic. A few times a year a spider crawls through my blog, though I'm not sure why. Is it making copies of all my photos? Is it searching for email addresses to spam? I don't know. Usually the spider's activity lasts about two days. A typical spider reads every post once, so it boosts my overall reader count, but it doesn't manipulate my popular posts list. Not every read is registered, because the blogger software has spam protection that stops counting when the reads occur too fast.


This month is different. I have a spider from an address in Singapore that's been crawling my blog since 1st June, and it shows no sign of stopping. My genuine traffic is about 600 hits per day, but the spider has tripled that number. It doesn't really bother me. It's just amusing. It makes my blog look like it's doing better than it really is, but I don't lie, I'll admit it to anyone who asks.

Deadpool (5 Stars)

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Deadpool must be the coolest Marvel superhero. (Or call him an anti-hero if you prefer). When he's fighting he banters with the villains, and when he's not fighting her banters with the cinema audience. He gives public service announcements, like telling people not to leave rubbish on the seats when they leave. His costume actually looks like it does in the comics, which is a rarity. He only has one fault: he likes Wham! I mean Wham the 1980's boyband, not Wham the 1960's weekly British comic. Okay, I admit that Wham is better than the awful rap music from America, and I'll even concede that George Michael has a good voice, but I find their music so bland and soulless. Their music is like candy floss; you take a big mouthful, but when you start to chew you realise you have nothing in your mouth. Wham's music isn't unpleasant, but it's not pleasant either, it's just... nothing.


Brianna Hildebrand is such a cool character as Negasonic Teenage Warhead that I wish she could get her own spin-off film. Or better still, she should make a sequel to "Tragedy Girls". She's not quite as cool as Deadpool, but at least she doesn't like Wham. And she should take that metal out of her nose.

Success Rate:  + 11.5

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Jumat, 16 Juni 2023

Smallville 2.23 - Exodus

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It was difficult for me to pick a suitable photo to headline this post. So much happens in this episode. There are quiet scenes and chaotic scenes, there are romantic scenes and intrigues. It's the season two finale, and it lives up to its expectations. In the end I picked this romantic photo of Clark and Lana. It's the calm before the storm.


It's good to see them so happy after two years of teetering on the brink of a relationship.


The only witnesses of the romantic moment are their horses.


But even the horses look away when their lips lock in a passionate kiss.


Just how passionate is the kiss? In the podcast Michael Rosenbaum says that they were sticking their tongues down each other's throats. Ugh! When he describes it like that, all the romance is gone. I think it's wishful thinking on his part. I don't see any tongues, not even in the close ups.


Tom Welling can't remember using his tongue to kiss Kristin Kreuk. Not that it means anything. He never remembers any of his kisses. I think his mind has blocked them out.


This week's special guest is Kristin Kreuk herself, in her second guest appearance after "Cool" last August. She watched the episode before appearing today. Her exact words were:

"I don't remember the scenes, I don't remember the storylines, I barely remember being on set, I don't remember the outfits, I don't remember anything. It's crazy. How did that happen?"

But does she remember the kiss? No, but she's certain that she didn't use her tongue. She says that it would have been unprofessional.

But all this talk about kissing is getting ahead of myself. Last week's episode ended on a cliff-hanger. A voice called to Clark from the storm cellar, telling him "Kal-El, it is time".  At the beginning of this episode we see that the voice is emanating from the space ship. It's the voice of Jor-El, Clark's father. His thoughts and his memories have been stored in the ship. He tells Clark that by sunset the next day he has to leave Smallville to follow his destiny. Clark refuses, but he's told he doesn't have a choice.

The next morning Clark goes riding with Lana, which leads to the romantic scene at the beginning of this post. Maybe Clark is afraid that this is his last chance to be with Lana.

The official church service for the wedding of Lex Luthor and Helen Bryce is due to take place the next day. Or is it? Lex confesses to Helen that he broke into her office to steal Clark's blood sample. He wants to break the cycle of deceit and be completely truthful. This revelation is too big for Helen to simply forgive him. She says the wedding is off and walks out. Fortunately she returns at the last moment, so the wedding doesn't have to be cancelled.

Shortly before sunset, Clark returns to the storm cellar. He tells the spaceship that he refuses to leave Smallville. The ship burns the symbol of Clark's ancestors onto his chest and tells him he only has until noon the next day to change his mind. If Clark stays, everyone he cares for will suffer.


The next day Clark shows his best friend Pete Ross the symbol and tells him that the only chance he has to escape his destiny is to destroy the spaceship. The spaceship's key is the same shape and size as the key for the wall in the Kawatche caves. Lionel Luthor has made a new key from refined Kryptonite. When his parents leave for Lex's wedding, Clark tells them that he has to do something first. He doesn't have much time, and he's the best man! Clark steals the Kryptonite key and inserts it in the spaceship.


There's a huge explosion. It destroys the spaceship, the storm cellar and the surrounding buildings. Luckily the farmhouse itself is outside the blast radius. Jonathan and Martha are returning home to look for Clark. Their truck is thrown into a ditch by the blast. They only have minor injuries, but Martha loses her baby. 

When Clark visits his parents in hospital, Jonathan blames him for the accident and the loss of the baby. Clark sees this as a fulfilment of Jor-El's threat that the ones he love will suffer. He steals a red school ring from Chloe's office at the Torch. It's the red meteor ring that takes away Clark's inhibitions. We saw it previously in "Red" and "Rush". Why does Clark want the ring? The logical answer is that it acts as an intoxicating drug. When he's under the ring's influence nothing matters to him, it's like he's in a trance.


Lana finds Clark standing in the ruins of the storm cellar before he leaves.


Clark pushes Lana away. She appeals to him for the sake of their love, but he insists that he's too dangerous for her.


This scene contains the best acting I've seen by Tom Welling and Kristin Kreuk in the series so far. They're both totally convincing in their roles.


Look at Kristin's face. We can read the heartbreak in her eyes. It's amazing that she can no longer remember this scene. In the podcast she said that she recognised herself, but it was like she was looking at a different person in a different world.


Clark slips on his ring and he rides away on his bike.


Tom Welling says that he didn't like the dark glasses because they made him look stupid. He's wrong, completely wrong. They're a symbol of his different personality. Apart from that, they make him look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Terminator films. This is the effect that Greg Beeman wanted as director, and it succeeds.


This shot as Clark drives off is such a beautiful scene that I'd like to frame it and hang it on my wall. It says so much without words.


And look at Lana's face. once more it's brilliant acting by Kristin Kreuk.

As Clark rides his motorbike towards Metropolis, he hears Jor-El's voice calling him. Destroying the spaceship wasn't enough to escape from him.

There's a dramatic turn at the end of the episode. Lex and Helen are flying away to their honeymoon in a private plane. Lex falls asleep. When he wakes up the plane is descending fast. Helen has gone, and the pilot has also disappeared. I watched these episodes 15 years ago, but I've forgotten what happened next. I felt tempted to watch the first episode of the third season straight away, but no... I'll wait till next week. Actually, not next week. On Monday I'm going on holiday for three weeks, and I shan't continue to watch "Smallville" until I return. The suspense is killing me.


There's a small but important subplot. In last week's episode Chloe Sullivan refused to investigate Clark for Lionel Luthor. After this she saw Clark and Lana kissing, but in this episode both Clark and Lana insist that they're only good friends. Chloe is so disappointed with them that she returns to Lionel and offers to do the investigation he wants. Is her love turning to hate? I'll find out the answer three weeks from now. Holidays suck!

In the podcast Kristin said that she never liked the love triangle, and when appearing in new television series she always insisted that there wouldn't be another love triangle. She says that it makes women look weak to see them fighting over the same man. Michael Rosenbaum has said similar things, and they both don't get it. Lana and Chloe aren't women, they're schoolgirls. At the start of the first season they were 14, and now they're 16. Young love isn't rational. I believe the roles were played perfectly.

Kristin points out a personal problem with the love triangle. It made her unpopular with many female fans. They took the side of either Lana or Chloe, and they hated the other one. When Kristin says fans, I assume she means young fans. Teenage girls. They weren't being rational when they blamed Kristin for breaking Chloe's heart, or when they blamed Allison Mack for breaking Lana's heart. They were getting the characters and the actresses mixed up.


In the podcast Michael Rosenbaum pointed out a mistake that I missed while watching the episode. Clark roars off on his motorbike in his Terminator gear, made reckless by the red meteor rock ring, but if you watch the road markings you can see that he's only driving slowly. Michael estimates that he's driving about 15 mph. He should have been driving at least 100 mph, an easy feat for Clark's stunt double Chris Sayour.


When Kristin appeared as a guest star last year I criticised the quality of her webcam. She must have read my blog, because she's upgraded now. Her new webcam is every bit as good as Tom's new webcam, and it's better quality than the webcams Michael uses in his studio. A beautiful woman like Kristin should be shown off. She was beautiful 20 years ago, and she's still beautiful now.

Tom Welling seemed to be showing some relief that he's got to the end of the second season. Didn't he think he'd make it? Up until now Tom and Michael have recorded 47 podcasts. There were only 44 episodes, but the first season finale was split into two podcasts, and there were two "Best Of" podcasts before the second season began. Unless there's a nuclear war, they should be able to finish the series within the next four years. I'll be watching all the episodes with them and following their podcasts.

Always hold on to Smallville.

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Kamis, 15 Juni 2023

Inception (5 Stars)

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In my opinion, this is Christopher Nolan's best film. It has mind-bending concepts of being in a dream inside a dream inside a dream inside a dream, and yet the story is never difficult to follow. That is to say, it isn't difficult to follow until the final scene. When Dom Cobb finally wakes up from his nested dreams and returns to his children, is he really awake, or is he still in a dream above all the other dreams?

Dom uses a spinning top to check whether he's in reality or a dream. In dreams the top spins indefinitely, in reality it stops spinning after a while and falls over. He spins the top at the end of the film, and the film cuts out before we see whether it continues spinning or not. Many fans of the film have asked Christopher Nolan whether the top stops spinning or not. His responses are always evasive, and rightfully so. If he'd wanted there to be a clear answer, he'd have put it in the film.

The answer is that it doesn't matter. Dom wants to be back with his children, and when he's with them it doesn't matter whether it's reality or a dream. All that matters is that he's happy. But what most viewers don't notice is the way Dom spins the top. Usually he spins it, then sits and watches the result. This time is different. He spins the top, then walks away. He doesn't want to see the result. What the director is saying is that Dom himself doesn't want to know whether it's a dream or not. If it doesn't matter to him, why should it matter to us?

Do I personally have an opinion whether he's in reality or a dream? No, I don't. There's evidence to support both answers. The main evidence for reality is the complexity of the architecture. Dom flies from one country to another, whereas the manufactured dream architecture is always a confined area. The main evidence for a dream is the way his children are dressed. They have the identical clothes to the ones in his dream, and they're playing in the same garden. I'm sure that Christopher Nolan planted these contradictory clues to keep us guessing.

Success Rate:  + 3.2

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Wine: Rolf Willy Samtrot Weißherbst Kabinett

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I found this wine in a supermarket opposite my usual cinema. It doesn't usually stock Rolf Willy wines, so I was surprised to see it in a very prominent place, the opposite end of the shop to the other wines. There were only two types of Rolf Willy wine on sale. After staring at them for five minutes I picked up a bottle of each. Rolf Willy makes very good wine, though slightly more expensive than other vineyards.

There's no doubt about the quality of the Rolf Willy Samtrot Weißherbst Kabinett. A lot of work has gone into crafting it. As is typical for Weißherbst wines, it has a lower alcohol content. It has a pleasant natural sweetness that makes it easy to drink. It's not a very sweet wine like the ones made in central Germany. Under German wine laws, no sugar is allowed in Weißherbst wines. To increase the sweetness, small amounts of the grape juice made from the same grapes can be added.

It's a pleasant wine, delicious on a warm sunny day on the balcony, but it's not a wine which I would drink by itself. I might drink a glass or two after grilling meat, but it's too sweet for me by itself. I prefer dry wines.

Rabu, 14 Juni 2023

Deep Impact (4 Stars)

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I was feeling lazy this evening. I still am. I watched "Deep Impact" late in the evening, and since I'd written a good review when I watched it in 2016 I thought I wouldn't write anything tonight. I decided to generate a review with ChatGPT. The ChatGPT reviews are samey, as I realised when I generated a dozen reviews a few months ago, but if I only use it to create occasional reviews nobody will notice. So I made two attempts:

"Write a detailed review of Deep Impact".

"Write a detailed plot description of Deep Impact".

I was horrified. Both reviews, especially the second, contained factual errors. For instance, ChatGPT says that the reporter Jenny Lerner gave up her place in the underground shelter to remain with her lover. Bong! No, she doesn't have a lover in the film. It's also claimed that Jenny's parents had arranged for her place in the shelter. No, it was the other way round. Jenny was selected by the government, and she attempted to get a place for her parents as well.

So please, dear readers, don't expect artificial intelligence to take away your jobs. Based on the poor results I saw today, it'll be years until it gets that far. If you use artificial intelligence to assist you in your work, you need to check everything it's written.


So I'll have to write the review myself, but I'll keep it brief. As I said, I'm feeling lazy tonight.

A teenage astronomer called Leo Biederman, played by Elijah Wood, discovers a comet in the night sky. He passes on the information to Dr. Marcus Wolf, who realises that it's on a collision course with the Earth. It's about seven miles long, so the impact will be great enough to destroy all life on Earth. The scientists call it an Extinction Level Event (ELE).

Two steps are taken to prepare for the impact. First, a spaceship called the Messiah is sent to intercept the comet and use nuclear weapons to destroy it, Secondly, in case the Messiah fails, an underground shelter has been built in Missouri to hold one million people for at least two years.

The film doesn't properly start until after the first half hour. The film begins with little stories that are irrelevant to the story itself. Dr. Wolf dies in a car crash when he's on his way to report his findings. My condolences, but it's not relevant. After receiving faulty inside information, Jenny Lerner misunderstands ELE and thinks the president has a mistress called Ellie. Amusing, but also irrelevant. The first half hour could have been trimmed to five minutes.

"Deep Impact" and "Armageddon" were both released in 1998, only two months apart. They were both successful. Would they have earned more money if they hadn't been competing against one another? Or did the success of "Deep Impact" (May 1998) encourage more people to go to see "Armageddon" (July 1998)?

I'll finish with a question. Wouldn't you like to have Morgan Freeman as president?

Success Rate:  + 2.4

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