Netflix: Review of HOLIDATE: Platonic Party Partners

Watch Movies TV -

 November 1, 2020

During their family Christmas reunion, her mother and siblings all could not help but harp on Sloane (Emma Roberts) and her absence of a boyfriend, and this annoyed her no end. While in line to return Christmas gifts, Sloane met golf pro Jackson (Luke Bracey) who was similarly single and hounded by his friends for it. After sharing common experiences with each other, they decided to become each other's "holidate" -- a platonic companion only during holiday parties to avoid intrusive comments from family and friends. 

This was generally a feel-good holiday rom-com which banked heavily on the appealing charms and chemistry of its two lead stars to stand out from the similarly plotted films. The scenes were set in various holidays in one year's time, from one Christmas to the next -- Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Cinco de Mayo, Mother's Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day (also York and Liz's wedding day), Halloween and Thanksgiving. It is rated 16+ for sexual situations and some vulgar language. 

Emma Roberts is as delightful as she always was in many of her films, since her first lead role in "Nancy Drew" (2007). She was able to make Sloane's cynicism look so cute and was the x-factor why a film like this could even manage to transcend its cliches. Luke Bracey had that air of a typical Australian charming cad around him, which made him a perfect fit for the role of Jackson. There was very easy romantic chemistry between Roberts and Bracey so there was no doubting how their story was going to go.

Kristen Chenowith played Sloane's single Aunt Susan, who was the one who introduced "holidating" by bringing different men to parties. Boyish-looking 37 year-old actor Manish Dayal played the role of Dr. Faarooq, the man Sloane's mother Elaine (Frances Fisher, most memorable as Rose's mother in "Titanic") wanted for her. There were minor subplots involving Sloane's siblings Abby (Jessica Capshaw) ignored by her husband Peter (Alex Moffatt), and York (Jake Manley), about to marry his straightlaced girlfriend Liz (Cynthy Wu).

This romcom definitely follows the same old tried and true formula for this genre to the letter. Attractive single girl meets attractive single boy. They have a good time together as friends. They both recognize that there was something more. They have a serious disagreement and split up. They get back together again as would be expected in films like this.  We all saw the happy ending from the moment they met each other in that department store, it was just that they were too self-absorbed to see the obvious. 6/10

31 Days of Horror: Halloween Day Blowout - New stuff

Watch Movies TV -

With the first volume, earlier today, we talked about some very strange older movies. With this post, we're going to October 2020 out talking about some this year's horror releases. Just like the post about the older movies, there's a lot here, so let's get started.

His House

(2020)

We meet Bol (Sope Dirisu) and Rial (Wunmi Mosaku) in a British detention center. They are a married couple who had to flee from war-torn Sudan and are seeking refuge. We also discover that in the process of getting there, they lost their daughter. They're granted asylum on a probationary basis and given a house to live in. Right away, things start going bump in the night. At first, both encounter the house's supernatural residents separately and have very different experiences. It's a really interesting, and fresh-feeling take on the haunted house genre. There is lots of creepy imagery and tension to go with it. More importantly, this film also has plenty of heart. It also deals heavily with the effects of both PTSD and loss. It even fits in some commentary on the struggles of an immigrant trying to assimilate into a new place and culture. Amazingly, it never feels rushed despite running only a scant 93 minutes. The acting by Dirisu and Mosaku is so genuine they enhance our emotions. When the credits rolled, it immediately became one of my favorite 2020 movies of any genre.

The Witches

(2020)

This updated adaptation of the Roald Dahl novel moves the action to Alabama in 1968 and gives us a kid only billed as Hero Boy, for a protagonist. His parents die in a horrific car accident and he goes to live with Grandma (Octavia Spencer). Soon, they discover witches are after them and go to stay in a swanky hotel until they can figure things out. What they didn't know was the a coven of those same witches are having a convention, of sorts, and staying in the same hotel. It's kooky, campy, kid-friendly horror with lots of plot holes and shortcomings that the target audience won't mind. The second biggest offender is that the movie goes through all of the trouble of changing the setting from Norway and giving us a black lead character and doing absolutely nothing with it. My biggest disappointment would be a spoiler, so I won't bring it up, here (with a knowing wink to Rambling Film). Most of it looks really good, except they unnecessarily cgi'd a cat instead of just getting a real one. Presumably, it's for the cat's one scene where he has do some ridiculous scenes. However, just using cgi for that scene, already dark and filmed from distance, would've worked much better. Spencer is delightful, as is Stanley Tucci as the hotel manager. The real reason to watch, however, is Anne Hathaway ferociously chewing every bit of scenery that dares to get in her way. She makes it a fun, if deeply flawed film.

Tales From the Hood 3

(2020)

This anthology horror series is back. This time, we follow old man William (horror icon Tony Todd) leading a little girl named Brooklyn (Sage Arrindell) through a graveyard by the hand. In a wonderful subversion of expectations, Brooklyn starts telling William the stories that make up our vignettes for this edition. Entertaining and poignant as the franchise has ever been. Where this one has it over part 2 is that it's not nearly as heavy-handed, and maintains a sense of humor throughout all the stories. That it manages to keep its tongue planted in its cheek without dulling the edge of its social commentary is an impressive feat. The first segment might be my favorite of the bunch. I say might because I don't think there's a weak story in the lot this time around. A few of the special fx clearly strain the budget, but overall I had a great time watching this.

Vampires vs. The Bronx

(2020)

Miguel, aka Lil' Mayor (Jaden Michael), is a teenager trying to do all he can to help his neighborhood which is in the midst of undergoing gentrification. Aside from the normal issues this causes, it seems the owners who sold their businesses have mysteriously disappeared. Soon, Lil' Mayor and his bestest buddies Bobby (Gerald W. Jones III) and Luis (Gregory Diaz IV) discover what we know from jump, there are vampires afoot. The film takes lots of cues from The Lost Boys and Blade. It also takes some from Monster Squad and throws in a splash of Do the Right Thing. I mention all of these because, honestly, they're pretty easy to spot. Thankfully, the movie synthesizes them all into a fun time that attacks gentrification both literally and metaphorically. The cast does a good job bringing us along for the ride. Aside from those already mentioned, there's Sarah Gadon as Vivian, who eventually joins our heroes. Of the adults, Method Man is the unsung hero as Father Jackson. The movie runs into some issues in the third act and doesn't quite work as well as it should. However, the first two acts build up enough good will to earn forgiveness.

#Alive

(2020)

Oh Joon-woo (Yoo Ah-in) is in his early 20s and not much different from lots of his peers. He lives with his parents and his sister in an apartment in a high rise apartment complex. He spends most days live streaming while playing video games. One day he's home alone when an apparent zombie apocalypse breaks out. He locks himself in the apartment and periodically tries to contact his parents and/or find help otherwise. Soon he discovers Yoo-bin (Park Shin-hye), a young woman in the same predicament who lives in the building across from him. Though it starts off fast, this movie takes it slow enough to do some real character development. Our two stars are wonderful and have an easy chemistry that carries the latter half of the film. They're working with an odd premise for a boy-meets-girl picture, but it works because of them. They help make the action even more tense than it might be otherwise. A plus for the squeamish, there's a good deal of zombie action, but not really a ton of gore. By the end, it also becomes one of the genre's better incorporations of this generation's technology.

Bad Hair

(2020)

In 1989, Anna (Ella Lorraine) is an aspiring VJ at a TV station awfully reminiscent of where BET was at the time. Anna is often overlooked and undervalued because she fails to meet accepted beauty standards, especially when it comes to her hair. At the urging of her domineering boss Zora (Vanessa Williams), Anna goes and gets her done at a particular shop by a particular stylist. She leaves the shop with head full of hair weave, nice and straight the way her boss wanted. Soon, opportunities are opening up for her left and right. The problem is that Anna soon discovers her new hair seems to be alive and craves human blood. It's an excellent, if weird, set-up to make a powerful statement, but completely drops the ball. It's ideas are half baked and communicated poorly. On the surface level, it rushes through its plot, and struggles with its tone. It's part dark comedy, part horror, and never quite figures out how to mesh the two. I commend it for having a cast made up of almost all Black women (I think there are only two men with speaking parts in the film), but there's a problem. What's clearly a story that needs to be told by Black women, was written and directed by a man, Justin Simien who did the same for <i>Dear White People.</i> That film also has a female protagonist. What works there is that the story doesn't necessarily need to be from a female perspective. What is happening to the main character mostly transcends gender. That's not the case, here. Simien is simply inadequate to tell this tale. Not surprisingly, the finished product feels more like a first draft than a fully realized film.

31 Days of Horror: Halloween Day Blowout - Old Stuff

Watch Movies TV -

If you've been here this month, you know that Jason Voorhees has taken over the blog. He'll actually have control for a bit longer. However, I wanted to end this year's 31 Days of Horror writing about some other horror flicks I've watched this year, but haven't mentioned. Believe it or not, there's a lot to talk about. A lot. It's enough that I've decided to break it into two posts. This one is all about some old and strange horror flicks I came across this year. Some of these are very strange. Let's find out how weird things got. Chronologically, of course.

Orgy of the Dead

(1965)

If you're at all familiar with The Amazing Criswell, you know this won't be Oscar-worthy as soon as you see him. To be fair, even if you have no idea who he is you'll get the same idea within seconds of his appearance, sitting up in a coffin and being all, well, Criswell. He's the undead crypt keeper in a cemetery and has a the prototype for Elvira with him. They have to preside over the recently deceased pleading to avoid eternal damnation by taking turns dancing for them. Of course, all of the just deceased are females. In Criswell's words, "No one wants to see a man dance!" There is also a live couple thrown into the mix. They go to the cemetery so the boyfriend can get some inspiration for his budding career as a horror writer. Since this is a "nudie cutie," and not the erotic horror I was led to believe it was, all of these women perform topless burlesque dances. Poorly. That sounds like a certain level of fun, but these dances go on forever. And they suck. Even the ones that vigorously jiggle fail to hold our attention more than a minute or two. The shame of that is these dances go on 5 or 6 minutes apiece. That's an eternity in film watching time. According to Wikipedia, they take up about 70 of the movie's 90 minutes. The rest of it is proto-Elvira making vaguely lesbian comments, a mummy and a werewolf, who dropped in to watch, cracking wise, and he faux torture of the random couple. It's directed by Stephen C. Apostolof, but the screenwriter's fingerprints are all over this. That guy is none other than Ed Wood. Unfortunately, this never reaches so bad it's awesome level. It gets stuck on tedious as hell due to the endless and graceless gyrating by women who are blankly staring off in the distant while they do it. Did I mention how bad the dancing is? 

Night of the Lepus

(1972)

And this is why you shouldn't leave children alone in a lab. Let me back up. The local farming is overrun with rabbits. Meanwhile, Roy and Gerry Bennett (Stuart Whitman and Janet Leigh, respectively), are studying and experimenting on other rabbits. This includes injecting one of them with B-movie serum. It so happens that their little girl is in love with that one. When no one's looking she switches him with the rabbit she was going to be given as a pet. So she takes her new roided up rabbit home and, of course, he escapes, and gets into the population of wild rabbits. Next thing you know, they all start growing. And growing. And growing. And there are thousands of them. They basically stampede all over the place in suh-looooooowwwwww motion. They also start killing cows, horses, and lord yes, people! Don't get it twisted. These suckers are big enough that one rabbit can take out any of those things. Cute and cuddly, these things ain't. Well, they really are, but splash them with red paint, have them running in suh-looooooowwwwww  motion through miniature sets, and occasionally have a man in a giant bunny suit attack someone (just the edit the crap out of it so it's not too obvious) and voila, they're "menacing." This is a first ballot inductee into the So-Bad-It's-Awesome Hall of Fame.

I Don't Want to Be Born

aka The Devil Within Her

(1975)

The film opens on Lucy (Joan Collins) giving birth to her bouncing baby boy . To say it's a struggle is an understatement. It gets so bad the doctor proclaims, "This one doesn't want to be born." After they literally yank the kid out of the womb, the kid is oddly aware and hostile to mom. It's more of the same when they get him home. Lucy suspects the boy is possessed and sets out to find someone to help her. Soon enough, and mind you this kid is mere months old, the baby starts killing people. I mean physically. The movie plays like an unofficial British sequel to Rosemary's Baby with a healthy dose of The Exorcist thrown in. Sadly, it's not anywhere near as good as either. It's quite bad, actually. The killer infant stuff is fun but goofy. Joan Collins gives her all, as well as Donald Pleasence in a smaller role, but they're let down by an inept script. Having her character be rich doesn't really help the story, but gives the kid more people to murder. For a large chunk, Mom goes off on a quest for answers, leaving the baby with a nanny and/or schedule someone to come over during that time. If you go in looking for a good movie, you'll be sorely disappointed. If you go in looking for a good time with a bad movie, this will work. Well. Yes, I'm granting it so-bad-it's-awesome status.

Dr. Black and Mr. Hyde

aka The Watts Monster

(1976)

The classic Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is given a Blaxploitation makeover. In spite of the title, the lead character is named Dr. Pride and played by Blaxploitation giant Bernie Casey. He's got a heart of gold. He slips patients a bit of cash to help them pay for medication and his favorite patient of them all is Linda (Marie O'Henry), the prostitute he treats weekly for free. We're never told this for sure, but the fact she strips naked for every visit and doesn't bother covering might have something to do with him not charging her. On the side, he's working on some B-movie serum. As these things usually go, he winds up experimenting on himself with it. He then turns white...powdery white, and gets really aggressive. Of course, he gets the courage to pursue Linda, but that doesn't work too well. After that, let's just say any prostitute not named Linda is not safe. It's beyond goofy, in both great and terrible ways. Along the way, it makes some easy social commentary. Casey goes all in. I kind of wish the more capable Rosalind Cash, barely in the movie as a colleague of Dr. Pride, had been cast in the Linda role. However, I fully understand the two big (o)(o) reasons O'Henry won out. All in all, it's a good time with a bad movie.

Death Bed: The Bed that Eats

(1977)

Just when you thought it couldn't get any stranger, along comes a movie about a killer bed.  mean a regular looking bed. It doesn't move around on its own, or anything like that. It just eats anything that comes into contact with it by sucking it into its mattress. We then get shots of it's "stomach acid" digesting whatever it is. In the opening scene, that's a bucket of chicken (though it knows better than to eat the bucket), drinks a bottle of wine - yes, drinks, and the random couple who apparently traveled a long way to bone on this bed. Oh, I almost forgot, there's some guy's spirit trapped behind a painting on the wall who talks to the bed pretty constantly. This is z-grade horror, bursting with nonsense. In fact, every bit of the "plot" is a contrivance to get people to the bed. Still, it's weird fun. And those shots of the bed digesting things are far better than they have any right being. It drags some, but it's such a unique experience you're willing to stick around and see what happens. Yup, another one so bad it's awesome!

Jekyll & Hyde...Together Again

(1982)

This version of Dr. Jekyll (Mark Blankfield) is a renowned surgeon, all set to marry his sweetheart Mary (Bess Armstrong). She happens to be the daughter of Dr. Carew (Michael McGuire), who oversees the hospital where Dr. Jekyll works. The two butt heads because Carew wants Jekyll to do the world's first "total transplant," transplanting all the organs at once on sickly zillionaire Howard Howes (Peter Brocco). Anyhoo, the good doc accidentally snorts some hopped up cocaine and turns into pimp-ish Dr. Hyde and starts pursuing Ivy, a prostitute who happens to be one of Jekyll's patients. The opening 20 minutes or so is near brilliant satire, complete with (dated) pop-culture references. Around that time, we get the amazing first transformation, which includes our protagonist "growing" gold chains. It's pretty much downhill after that with a few good moments here and there. It's also very cringy with lots of 80s patented casual racism and homophobia. Overall, it's goofy enough to enjoy in spite of its faults, but you'll never mistake it for a good movie. And this one is definitely comedy, just using an iconic horror character.

31 Days of Horror: Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror

Watch Movies TV -

Directed by Xavier Burgin.

2019. Not rated, 83 minutes.

Cast: Keith David, Jordan Peele, Ernest Dickerson, Rachel True, Tony Todd, Miguel Nunez, Rusty Cundieff, Tananarive Due, William Crain, Loretta Devine, Richard Lawson, Paula Jai Parker, Kelly Jo Minter, Ashlee Blackwell, Robin R. Means Coleman.

    As a Black kid who was into horror very early on life, a period that coincided with the 1980s, I couldn't help but noticing the dearth of faces that were not White. Truthfully, that lacking was something that went across all genres, but it seemed especially noticeable in horror. Our fears were not being projected on the screen. When we were included, we were fodder for the killer and/or comic relief. There were a handful of tropes that we fit into. Back then, my friends and I talked about it, but didn't have names to apply. We also engaged in those conversations about what if the white characters that we just finished watching were Black. This documentary dives into all of that, but from a far more informed point of view than me and my teenage friends had during the horror-filled years of Reaganomics.

    Our talking heads are comprised of a handful of scholars and a smattering of actors and directors who worked on some of the films being discussed. This gives us a nice juxtaposition between the people who were in the movies and the people who study them. The actors and directors include Jordan Peele, Ernest Dickerson, Rusty Cundieff, Keith David, Loretta Devine, Miguel Nunez, Rachel True, and of course Tony Todd. These folks, plus more, and including the scholars offer wonderful insights. The film is at its most fun when we hear differing opinions on a particular film from a person in the film they're focused on and the scholar who has only watched it. The slight drawback is that these people never interact.

    While people expressing opposing views is entertaining, Horror Noire is at its best when it dives deep into Hollywood's past, discusses the origins of tropes and shows how they were perpetuated and/or subverted throughout cinematic history. Much of what they have to say has been said before in various circles. What makes them work better here is that they pull all of these strands together to crystallize the picture for us. Over the years, they've all been presented as separate things, even to and by people who know that's not the case. There is something powerful about gathering them all up to show how they inform the machinations of a singular industry. 

    If there is a shortcoming with this doc, it's that it is just that, short. It clocks in at a waifish 83 minutes. It could easily expand by another 20 or 30 minutes and still be both entertaining and informative. There are even more depths to be mined within the chosen topics. There are also a few more movies that deserved more attention. We get lengthy discussions of the aforementioned The Birth of a Nation, along with Blacula, Ganja and Hess, Candyman, Tales From the Hood, and Get Out. A good place to start is this very decade which is largely skimmed over and ignored. Another thing that goes ignored is the current cinematic climate. By current, I actually mean pre-pandemic since was released in 2019. I'm talking more about the rise of streaming services and how this has altered, or not altered, the presence of people of color in front of and behind the camera in both horror as a genre, and the medium at large.  Even so, this is an important horror doc that should serve as a springboard to greater dialogue and understanding of cinematic history and the way it is still affecting us.

Sidenote (and I'm not getting paid for this): This is Shudder original and they made this movie free to watch without a subscription. Click here to check it out.

Two Supercops (3 Stars)

Watch Movies TV -

This Italian film, made in 1977, has been released in English with different titles over the years. The most recent release on DVD is called "Crime Busters", but I prefer "Two Supercops", which was its original title in the cinemas.

Terence and Bud are two casual labourers looking for work in a Miami dockyard. I shan't bother telling you the names of their characters, because honestly, who cares? Everyone knows them as Terence Hill and Bud Spencer, whatever films they appear in. They can't find work, so Terence suggests that they rob a building where he's seen money being delivered every day. When they burst in they find themselves surrounded by police. It's an administrative office for the Miami Police Department. To avoid being arrested, they say that they're visiting the building to apply for jobs as police officers.

Terence and Bud are given 20 weeks training before they go into action. Is that all? They're unorthodox, but successful. They succeed in bringing down a drug cartel operating at the dockyard where they first met one another.

The film is intended to be a comedy, but I didn't find it very funny. It's one of Terence and Bud's weaker films. The only scenes I enjoyed were the fights. I'm sure that Kevin Sorbo and Michael Hurst based their hilarious fighting style on them in the Hercules TV series. Apart from the fights, the film is dull.

To Sean Connery

Watch Movies TV -

Perhaps my all-time favourite actor (certainly my FIRST favourite actor, after watching Dr. No and From Russia With Love at the theatre one marvellous day in 1972) has died (at age 90). I was first introduced to Connery’s work at the age of 13, when I saw Darby O’Gill and the Little People at the theatre (re-release of the 1959 Disney film). Three years later I watched the re-release of the first two James Bond films and Connery was my hero. While those two Bond films remain among my favourites, I most admired Connery’s acting in Outland, The Name of the Rose and The Russia House, all three of which are, in my opinion, very underrated films. But I enjoyed watching Connery in almost every film he played (notable exceptions were The Avengers (1998) and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which I thought were very much not worthy of his talents).

Thanks for all the memories, Sean.

The Rotting Zombie's Round-up of Horror News for October 2020

Watch Movies TV -

This month I have been trialling the reintroduction of news posts detailing singular news items. This means I am now putting out a new blog post every single day, shall see how long I can keep that going! Despite this my inbox is still full of news items, and so shall be putting a bunch of them into a monthly news post still. Don't take it to mean this compilation of news stories means they don't deserve their own post, more that having a full time day job it means I just don't have the time to write individual posts for each bit of news I receive.

The Dead Ones is now out on DVD/Blu-ray and digital. I said of this school based horror "From start to finish the nightmarish tone remains consistent, thanks to some inventive moments and a great looking set."
Similarly titled My Dead Ones comes to iTunes and Google Play on October 31st. This Brazilian psychological slasher film also came to Vimeo on October 26th.
From Midnight Releasing, Evil Under the Skin is now streaming on VOD platforms, including all the ones you would expect. I said of this "I have to give kudos for where this eventually ended up."

Adrian Tofei's standout Romanian found footage horror Be My Cat: A Film for Anne has been released on DVD in two versions, one featuring the new poster and one with the original poster. Both include 12 minutes of extra footage, closed captions, improved image and sound. This horror was partially improvised and had Tofei method acting for the duration, partially living in character. The creator is currently working on a trilogy which includes this film, We Put the World to Sleep (in post-production) and Dr. Frankenstein (in development). Signed copies of the DVD can be purchased on Tofei's site.

The follow up to supernatural thriller Mayday was announced on September 17th. Tara Reid and Robert LaSardo have been added to the film's roster. The synopsis for this has air marshall Adam Anderson (Michael Pare) on board a flight when a strange smoke engulfs the plane. He awakens to find only him and five passengers remain, and the plane running on autopilot. That sounds very much like the excellent time travel horror The Langoliers, which can only be a good thing. Mayday II is currently on Indiegogo seeking additional funds.

Habitual comes to theatres and VOD on November 13th and has been described as 'A Clockwork Orange meets Saw!' This psychological drug fueled horror is about a group of drug taking ravers who go to an underground rave party called 'Habit' at an abandoned asylum in Salem. The night changes into chaotic hallucinations with characters falling deeper into a metaphorical mind-bending hole. It certainly sounds interesting. This comes from writer/director Johnny Hickey, and allegedly during one screening of the movie an audience member on LSD ended up in a harm reduction center as a result of his experience.

Frolic Pictures have released a special batch of 20 new triple feature DVDs. These are based on the golden age of 'silent screamers and depression-era staples'. The collections features some icons such as Bela Lugosi, Max Schreck, Lon Chaney Jr, Boris Karloff, Tod Slaughter and Soledad Miranda. 'Each DVD is a one-of-a-kind experience, like going to the drive-in back in the day, except in the comfort of your own home. Every carefully curated program is 3-4 hours of shocking, bizarre, and tantalizing entertainment from a bygone era. Packed with cinematic surprises, such as pre-show shorts, trailers, and intermission cartoons'. The list is too much to go into, but some chosen at random include: Face of the Screaming Werewolf/The Wasp Woman/The Bat, King of the Zombies/Revolt of the Zombies/Teenage Zombies, and Curse of the Aztec Mummy/Sound of Horror/The Atomic Man. For more details head here.

From the creator of The Blair Witch Project comes Ithaca: A miniseries of horror. This comes from Eduardo Sanchez and season1 is now available now and can be seen for free on Man In The Arena Films YouTube Channel. The first season is made up of four chapters and is about a man's attempt to heal his broken legacy. It was inspired by Homer's Odyssey, modern mythology and includes Balinese Hindu mythology. It was made over 7 years with no budget, and with a 2 to 4 man crew. Season 1 can be seen here.

Music news now, firstly, Sharone has released a music video for her track Can We Pretend. This is the first single off the dark rock artist's upcoming album, Morbid Illusion that is due out on 28th May 2021. Her second single will be revealed on Halloween (the day this blog post goes out). Sharone says of the single "...is about living a lie, and hiding behind a facade that's destroying you from the inside out".

Sammi Doll has released the official music video for her debut single AN OM IE. This is 'an amalgamation of pounding dance beats and industrial keyboard hooks'. Sammi Doll says of the video "We filmed the video over the course of four months due to quarantine restrictions, so we had the luxury of time to build on our characters. I really gave my blood, insomnia, and tears to everything I do artistically and tend to think about the consequences later...but I knew I was committed when a frozen octopus from Seattle showed up at my front door..."

Finally, a new UK short anthology horror is due to go up on YouTube at 9pm tonight (GMT). End of October features three short films from Nicolai Kornum, John Whitaker, and M.W Daniels. Earlier in the year the three worked on a different short anthology horror, The Isolation Horrors. A review of End of October shall go up next week, it's worth a watch, so check out the premiere at 9pm today (October 31st) here.

Netflix: Review of BLOOD OF ZEUS: A Wife on the Warpath

Watch Movies TV -

 October 31, 2020

Tales about the Olympian gods, their adventures and conflicts were among my favorite stories to read since childhood. I was very excited to see a new animated series about them on Netflix. There were only 8 episodes at about only 30 minutes each on average, so this should an easy binge. The series was rated 18+, cautioning about violence. This came as no surprise knowing how bloody these mythic battles can get.

A young man named Heron (Derek Phillips) was always fighting to keep his mother Electra (Mamie Gummer) safe from their neighbors who considered them outcasts. However, his protective instincts went into overdrive when band of demons led by Seraphim (Elias Toufexis) was wreaking havoc on the countryside killing everyone in sight. The deities of Mt. Olympus also get involved in the action as a major marital dispute erupted between the ever-philandering Zeus (Jason O'Mara) and the dangerously jealous Hera (Claudia Christian).

The first episode was not too easy to get into right away. Aside from the unfamiliar style of the artwork, the initial characters seen were all unfamiliar names. Aside from being introduced to the lead character Heron, we also meet the blond-haired female Grand Archon Alexia (Jessica Henwick) leading her men to fight the demons terrorizing the towns. There was a wise old man Elias who was always there to help Heron and his poor weak mother. It was only at the final sequence of Ep. 1 that Olympian gods entered the scene. 

So from the Ep. 2 onwards, mythology junkies will already be hooked as the connection between Heron and Zeus will be revealed in flashbacks. Succeeding episodes would recount how Hera got wind of the scandal and entered the fray. Much later, the origin of the head demon Seraphim will also get connected to everything else. Among the other gods, prominently featured were Hermes (Matthew Mercer) and Apollo (Adam Croasdell). 

Meanwhile, Heron will have his own rigorous ordeals to go through on his own. Aside from Alexia, he would also meet good friends like fellow slaves, the smart wisecracking Evios (Chris Diamantopoulos) and strongman fighter Kofi (Adetokumboh M'Cormack) to help him in his quest. Other familiar mythological characters like the wise centaur Chiron (David Shaughnessy), as well as Clotho (Jennifer Hale) and her fellow Fates, also had roles to play.

Those who know Greek mythology will be familiar with the volcanic anger of Hera when she learns about the illicit extramarital affairs of her husband Zeus, so what transpired in this story will not really be a big surprise. Frankly, the svelte Hera here was not how I had been imagined her as a child, but this glamorous design worked for the purpose of this series. The gore factor was certainly in-your-face, but not too extreme, even with all the vicious stabbings, dismemberment and decapitations. Save for some slow exposition in certain scenes, this series was generally well-paced and engaging, especially for mythology buffs. 7/10.

Restaurant review: STEAK & CO. (Leicester Square)

Watch Movies TV -

One of the things that this new world order of social distancing and lockdowns has prevented me from doing, that I miss the most, is the weekends on the town I used to have. These Saturdays in London would usually follow an itinerary of going to a steakhouse, drinking cocktails and watching a film at the cinema, although the order varied depending on reservation and cinema showing times.

One of the last such days that I had, before everything closed due to lockdown, was back in February, when I went to Steak & Co. in Leicester Square, the evening I watched the Safdie brothers' Uncut Gems (I didn't like it as much as Film Twitter did, but it did have some very quotable lines). Had I known that would be one of the last such evenings of this ilk that I was going to have, I would certainly have cherished it more!

As the photos show, the steak is served to you on a hot plate, ensuring the meat is piping hot throughout, to retain its rich flavour. I commend this move, and wish more restaurants would follow Steak & Co.'s example there (even Hawksmoor, my favourite steakhouse in London, doesn't do it, lamentably).

The sauces and salts were plentiful and yummy, and the creamed asparagus was surprisingly delicious for someone who doesn't consume enough greens.

However, Steak & Co. definitely felt like a chain - from the tables which were squeezed far too closely together (if you moved from your seat to go to the loos, you would almost certainly bump into someone else), to the mediocre cut of the meat, the whole restaurant had a very generic vibe. 

Indeed, the chips were of lower quality than McDonalds' chips, which, whilst unhealthy, are amazingly coated in oil. These were just generic oven-chips that tasted a bit stale.

It was one of those places that prioritised profit margins over customer experience. This was transparently obvious, in how the waiters were rushed off their feet, and the steak was cooked suspiciously quickly, leaving me to believe the restaurant probably has a functional process that gets the meat cooked quickly, rather than for optimal taste. And indeed, the steak was bland and flavourless.

The wine selection at Steak & Co. was limited and the wine was overpriced for what it was, as was the meat.

Thus, as much as I miss a hearty steakhouse, this might be one of those things that, to quote Iggy Azalea, recall, 'I'm thinking I like the thought of you more than I like your presence'. The thought of a delicious juicy steak makes me hungry. But Steak & Co. most certainly did not deliver on that front.

Grade: D

--

For more of my restaurant reviews, click here.

31 Days of Horror: Back to Crystal Lake

Watch Movies TV -

It's no secret that the Friday the 13th franchise has taken over my blog this October. I figured I may as well go all out. After watching all of the proper franchise (and I'm still not finished ranking those kills), I ventured out and found a highly regarded fan film. Then, to my surprise, I found that the makers of that film released a sequel to it just a few weeks ago. And well...

Never Hike Alone

(2017)

We meet with adventure YouTuber Kyle (Drew Leighty) who's out making a video about his latest solo hike and pausing to rest and pimp various merch. Eventually, he discovers that he is at the legendary Camp Crystal Lake. Next thing you know, he's being hunted by none other than Mr. Voorhees, himself. The bulk of the film, which runs a bit less than an hour, is concerned with this matchup. This has gained a huge following among fans of the franchise, for good reason. It's as tense as anything in the canon, especially anything released this century. Jason is rescued from the depths of self-parody and restored to his iconic form. Tight purse strings hold it back a bit, but only in how much more we know can be shown. What is shown looks great. If you didn't already know it was one, you likely wouldn't know it was fan film. You would know that it's a great addition to Jason lore.

Never Hike in the Snow

(2020)

After the success of Never Hike Alone, and the crying out for Jason to show up in the snow, director Vincente DiSanti decides to give us what we want with this one. This one starts off with Mark (Courtlan Gordon) running for his life, yes, through a wintry landscape. Soon enough, Jason catches up with him. After that we meet a host of characters including Mark's mom and local law enforcement who go searching for the missing Mark. And off we go. The budget is still small, but like the first, it looks fantastic. To help, this film trades in some runtime for showing more of what Jason can do. It's even better than Never Hike Alone and it's biggest flaw is that runtime, clocking in at barely half an hour, leaves us wanting more. The good thing is there are plans for more. I'm looking forward to them. I almost forgot to mention that DiSante not only directed both films, he also portrayed Jason, and did a fantastic job.

Always Watching: A Marble Hornets Story

Watch Movies TV -

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion (or other commenters), that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching.  I guess I'd be Tubby Man since we are defining people by their physical builds.

 

 

Always Watching:  A Marble Hornets Story - 2 out of 5

 I don't remember exactly when I got into the Marble Hornets web series but I do remember that I stumbled upon it by complete accident not long after it began.  I one day Googled if there were any films based on the Slender Man character and found this series.  I found their story captivating and incredibly well produced.  I'm not even really a fan of Slender Man but was still impressed with what I saw with this series--maybe I have a connection to the character in ways I'm not fully aware of because I ended up moving to a city where two young girls stabbed a third in order to proved the existence of the character.  Granted, the stabbing happened not long after I moved...wait, did I bring him with me?!?  Anyway, Marble Hornets...I like it.  In 2015, this little web series ended up getting the movie treatment with Always Watching:  A Marble Hornets Story; a product that takes place within the same universe as the web series.  I'm not exactly sure why I didn't watch this when it came out but for some reason I sat on it.  All the month of Halloween (remember, Halloween is the entire month of October for me) I've been rewatching the web series and decided to finish it off with finally checking out the movie.  It was...not that great.

"Found Footage" Horror:  Thrill as you watch absolutely boring scenes
that do nothing to the characters and the plot and exist only to pad
the product out to feature length!

     

A local news crew; reporter Sara (Alexandra Breckenridge), cameraman Milo (Chris Marquette) and field producer Charlie (Jake McDorman), are covering a story about home foreclosures when they come across a house of an entire family that just disappeared.  When they find a box of camcorder tapes, they begin to investigate exactly what caused their disappearance and where they went.  On the tapes, they discover that the family was being tormented by a tall, faceless man (Doug Jones) who could only be seen when a camera was on him.  Milo quickly learns that this faceless man, called The Operator, is now showing up around him and has marked him.  Scared, he, Sara, and Charlie flee in order to try and figure out what is happening and what The Operator wants with them.

"Hey, you guys wanna hang out?  I was thinking about getting a pizza."

The web series isn't perfect and has a lot of problems--some of which include some weak acting and a story that gets a little too convoluted for its own good.  However, the series is still more of a win than it is a loss as it has some genuinely terrifying moments and does a great job of building a mystery around the concept of Slender Man.  Always Watching doesn't come close to matching this intrigue and complexity and, instead, settles for complacency with a very generic "found footage" tale.  With its larger budget and more resources behind it, this feature had the potential to take the spark the web series started and made a roaring fire of spectacle and terror but ultimately just delivered a smoldering flame that occasionally had a pop or two of interest.

There's a cool little Easter Egg for the web series above the gas pump there.

One of the biggest hurdles I have with the "found footage" horror subgenre is the internal logic for filming everything.  If the story either provides no reason or just offers up a "just because" as the answer to why the characters are filming everything, it instantly takes me out of the film and kills any possibility of suspension of disbelief.  The web series had a reason as the entire story is an investigation so it is basically a documentary of sorts.  Always Watching only offers a reason that makes sense as the second act starts.  When the film begins, there is no reason why Milo is filming everything.  I guess I'm supposed to believe that because he is a cameraman for the local news he is always filming but why exactly would he film the car ride over to a shooting location?  This proved to be just another example of how lazy this subgenre can be.  Once it is established that The Operator can only be seen through the lens of a camera the constant filming makes sense but am I really supposed to believe that this cameraman just likes filming himself work for no other reason than shits and giggles and the fact he seems way too dedicated to the piece of tech he works with for a living?

Everyone films themselves taking off their watch with their dogs.

From a story perspective, the film is almost insultingly simplistic.  There's nothing really complicated to it, the plot moves too fast and too often in a repetitive fashion, and it offers no real surprises as it feels like it is just going through the motions.  It was incredibly disappointing to see this film contain a story with no real substance or character born from a web series that was absolutely soaked in a rich mythology built around this internet-created monster.  The story is just another example, like the filming everything element, of how lazy "found footage" features can get as it feels like a completely hollow story that was produced all in the name of leaning too hard on a gimmick.

"Come on, guys.  I said I was sorry.  Please, let me back in."

One thing the film did do well was some of the scares.  The film is in no way as unnerving as the web series but it did lean into the subtle scares that made that series so memorable.  The film did a cool job of working Slender Man The Operator into the background or during the moments where the characters are unaware that he is nearby and always watching (wait, that's the title!).  However, this elements very rapidly gets repetitive and very much becomes a part of the wash, rinse, repeat nature of the story.  After Milo realizes this well-dressed, faceless man is now his stalker, the gang basically hits the road.  They arrive at a destination, set up cameras so the faceless one can't get the jump (or stand menacingly) on them, and then The Operator shows up and they leave for the next location.  And it starts all over again.  At one or two (or even three) points during this repetitive storytelling, you see The Operator appear in the background.  This is cool at times because the product will work him in the scene in cool ways but the novelty and terror of it will wear off very quickly.  To make matters worse, the film nearly universally relies on this formula for its scares so the movie quickly loses all potential for chills down the spine or the creeps.

Okay, that is cool and creepy.  I will admit that.

From a cast perspective, the film is wholly unremarkable.  Sadly, most cast members in "found footage" films are not the best because the nature of the product isn't providing a lot of points for character growth or even real exploration of their condition and, instead, are just around to hold the camera and string together possibly creepy scenes.  The cast isn't really doing too much as there's not much to really chew on so their performances are almost rendered null as they only get fleeting moments to act and spend most of their time scared.  What's sad is when I saw Alexandra Breckenridge was in it I was genuinely excited.  She is very talented and I enjoyed her greatly on The Walking Dead and American Horror Story but she was wasted in this film as she is nothing more than a woman to scream at the scary things and be lusted over by the creepy main character (More on that soon).  

"The kids are calling it 'Marble Hornet-ing' and your kids are definitely
doing it.  More at 11."

The writing of the characters is a mess as there are moments that makes you want to think they have some depth to it but these moments never pay off and only seem to exist to break up the formulaic moments I previously mentioned.  For example, Sara has a problem with pills and this only is established at the beginning and comes into play once in the story. Nothing of consequence or substance comes as a result from this.  Finally, the main character that we have to spend a majority of our time with is extremely unlikable and that only ends up making the product even harder to watch.

Maybe this is just the symbol of The Operator's shitty nu-metal band.

Milo is the guy we spend most of the time with and he is kind of a disgusting dude.  He has a thing for Sara and the story explains that they had a brief fling.  Milo pretty much goes full stalker as he follows her around and films her.  This element, while it makes for a main character that is completely repulsive and unsympathetic, does mean that his credibility can be called into question and create some internal conflict between the characters as the external conflict with The Operator plays out.  This happens but, like so many things in the film, it feels superfluous and just like it's a plot device meant to kill some time until we can get to the next moment The Operator shows up.  This film constantly feels like it wants to give these characters depth so that this movie has more going for it than just a hollow Slender Man story with "paint by numbers" scares but it also feels like it just doesn't want to or is completely incapable of really exploring that depth.  Also, Milo has a dog in the film and never really acts that nice to his dog.  Sorry, people who are shitty to animals are impossible to get behind in real life and in movies.

He definitely looks like the type to say, "Women just don't like nice guys."

Maybe it was my Spidey-sense that kept me from watching this one sooner and waiting five years before checking it out but this one was fairly disappointing.  It has some genuinely cool moments early in the story with The Operator and there are members of the cast who are clearly talented but were clearly wasted.  Overall, Always Watching:  A Marble Hornets Story feels like a huge step down from the web series it was born from.  All the complexity, nuance, atmosphere, and exploration that can be showcased in a single ten minute entry in that series is missing and replaced with an hour and a half of aiming for the lowest bar possible in this subgenre and pretty much offering up something that is just barely serviceable as a spooky watch.

31 Days of Horror: Ranking the Kills - Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

Watch Movies TV -

    This installment of the Friday the 13th franchise is notable for a few reasons. First, and most important in the minds of most fans, this marks the debut of genre legend Kane Hodder as Jason. Next, this is the first movie that would be in place of the then-scrapped Freddy vs. Jason. Since the powers that be still wanted to given Jason an adversary, we get Tina, who is basically Carrie from the 1976 movie of the same name. Finally, and worst for my purposes here, those pesky fools at the MPAA went hard on yet another Friday the 13th movie and had most of the actual gore cut to preserve an R rating. Let's rank the scraps they left us.

    Oh, before I get to that, I've got a very minor announcement. If you're familiar with the franchise, you know I still have a few movies to go. If you're reading this in "real" time, as in during October of 2020, then you've probably figured out I won't get them all in before the end of this year's 31 Days of Horror. I may as well let you know that my real (personal) deadline for these rankings is in a couples weeks. The second Friday in November, 2020, is a Friday the 13th.

Okay, now let's get to it.

#16

Jane

Jane catches a tent spike to the back of the head, that we don't see at all. We see what's in that pic up there.

#15

Maddy

This would be way higher if not for the fact we don't see it. She gets a scythe to the gut. Her body later shows up with a slit throat. So, either bad editing, or Jason really went hard on Maddy. Both?

#14

John

This is Tina's dad...and Tina's only victim. After she witnesses him being abusive to her mom, she collapses the dock where's he's standing and drowns him.

#13

Ben

It's the old crushing someone's head with his bare hands trick. This is probably the least exciting version of these.

#12

David

It's the old stab someone in the gut when they go to the fridge after sex trick. This is probably the least exciting version of these.

#11

Eddie

Eddie catches a machete to the throat. Barely. The cut cuts away immediately.

#10

Sandra

Sandra's smart (sarcasm). Instead off sneaking off alone for a skinny dip, she brings a guy with her. Shortly after she gets naked and hops into the water, her guy gets killed before he can join her. I guess Jason feels bad about it because he joined her. And drowned her. At some point he brings her to shore, but what-evs.

#9

Russell

This is another of those kills where the camera flinches and shies away. But it's an axe to the face, so yeah.

#8

Amanda

Amanda (Tina's mom) gets a spear thrust through her back. She also gets a dubious honor for this. Amanda is the first person someone helped Jason to kill. She was physically placed in his path when Jason was going for someone else.

#7

Robin

Robin gets thrown out of a window. In part 4, Jason threw another girl out of a window. She practically crushed a car and made all the windows explode. I ranked it as the worst kill  in that movie. It's about 100x better than this. Sigh.

#6

Dr. Crews

The good doc gets the most deserved kill in all the franchise. He's the jerk that threw Amanda in Jason's path to save himself. Well, he takes a weed-whacker to the stomach for his trouble. It's the first and only time Jason uses a motorized weapon.

#5

Kate

I want to put this higher, but due to us not really seeing it, I can't. Sound effects, the visuals of the results, and what it could have been get it this high. It's Kate getting a party horn through the eye.

#4

Michael

I swear Jason's aim makes William Tell jealous. This time he throws a tent spike into the back of a fleeing Michael. He then walks over to Michael and yanks the thing out of kids back and tosses him.

#3

Dan

Jason punches threw Dan's chest while simultaneously twisting and breaking his neck with his other hand.

#2

Melissa

This is the second time Jason buries his axe in someone's face. The difference is the extra bit of disrespect he has for Melissa. He adds insult to injury, uh, death when he grabs her by head, axe in place, and flings her across the room. Now, we're getting somewhere.

#1

Judy

While Dan is getting murdered, Judy is trying to hide. I guess you can call it hiding. She zips up her sleeping bag and tries to be quiet. Jason picks it up by one end and with one mighty swing into a tree creates one of the franchise's most iconic moments.