Watch Movies TV -Yue Fei was a Han Chinese military general who lived during the Southern Song dynasty. His ancestral home was in Xiaoti, Yonghe Village, Tangyin, Xiangzhou, Henan (in present-day Tangyin County, Anyang, Henan). He is best known for leading Southern Song forces in the wars in the 12th century between Southern Song and the Jurchen-ruled Jin dynasty in northern China before being put to death by the Southern Song government in 1142. He was granted the posthumous name Wumu by Emperor Xiaozong in 1169, and later granted the posthumous title King of È by Emperor Ningzong in 1211. Widely seen as a patriot and national folk hero in China, since his death Yue Fei has evolved into a standard epitome of loyalty in Chinese culture.
Sonder Toys 1/6th scale Yue Army Warrior (Elite Troops of Song Dynasty) 12-inch figure Features: head sculpt, Magnetic bun of hair, Movable body, hands x7, Helmet, Suit of uniform of Song Dynasty, Served Ru, Neckerchief, Armguards, Abdominal armor, Cloth belt, Leather belt, Bundle armour belt,Skirt strip, Artisanal cloth shoes, Shoulder armor, Body armer + shoulder armer (about 1070 pcs metal parts), Metal spear, Metal knife, Knife pouch, Bow, Arrow x6, Bow sheath, Arrow quiver
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Kamis, 31 Januari 2019
Ai Shinozaki Month, Day 1
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I consider Ai Shinozaki to be the world's most beautiful actress. She has appeared in eight films, of which I've unfortunately only been able to see three. They're a mixture of horror films and comedies.
Ai Shinozaki was born on 26th February 1992. She first became well known as a model in 2006. That's still her main career today, despite rumours that she's considering quitting to concentrate on her other activities.
In 2008 she recorded her first single, "M". From 2011 to 2014 she was a singer with the girl group AeLL, a concept group that sang songs about environmental issues. Officially the group has never disbanded, but it's not expected that they'll record together again.
Since 2015 Ai has released three solo albums: "Eat 'Em and Smile" (2015), "Love/Hate" (2017) and "You & Love" (2018), as well as various singles taken from these albums.
I'll publish a few photos of Ai Shinozaki each day this month. Most will be taken from her modelling sessions. There are literally thousands of photos available, so I'll make no attempt to select the best. None of the magazines containing her photos have been officially sold outside of Japan, so their copyright status is unclear. I'll credit the publisher of the photos, if I know it.
Photos from Weekly Playboy Japan, 2014.
I consider Ai Shinozaki to be the world's most beautiful actress. She has appeared in eight films, of which I've unfortunately only been able to see three. They're a mixture of horror films and comedies.
Ai Shinozaki was born on 26th February 1992. She first became well known as a model in 2006. That's still her main career today, despite rumours that she's considering quitting to concentrate on her other activities.
In 2008 she recorded her first single, "M". From 2011 to 2014 she was a singer with the girl group AeLL, a concept group that sang songs about environmental issues. Officially the group has never disbanded, but it's not expected that they'll record together again.
Since 2015 Ai has released three solo albums: "Eat 'Em and Smile" (2015), "Love/Hate" (2017) and "You & Love" (2018), as well as various singles taken from these albums.
I'll publish a few photos of Ai Shinozaki each day this month. Most will be taken from her modelling sessions. There are literally thousands of photos available, so I'll make no attempt to select the best. None of the magazines containing her photos have been officially sold outside of Japan, so their copyright status is unclear. I'll credit the publisher of the photos, if I know it.
Photos from Weekly Playboy Japan, 2014.
Black Panther (5 Stars)
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This is the 18th film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, released in January 2018. It's made history by being the first super-hero film to be nominated as Best Film at the Academy Awards. This puzzles me. Why has "Black Panther" been nominated when other equally good films were ignored, films like "Doctor Strange" and "Captain America: Civil War". If I were cynical I'd say that it's a political decision; because of accusations of gender bias in recent years the Film Academy wants to nominate a film which has as many black actors as possible. Or should I call them African American actors? I hate that expression, because it makes an assumption about a person's nationality, even though it's just a way of describing a person's skin colour. What I mean is, if an American sees a dark-skinned person and talks about him to someone else he'll say, "I saw an African American", even if he has no way of knowing whether the person is American or not. It would be much more appropriate to call him black, coloured, dark-skinned or even negro; any word at all that doesn't reference his nationality.
What should we call Stan Lee? A Jewish American? Somehow that doesn't sound right.
What should we call Lupita Nyong'o, who plays Nakia? She lives in the USA, but she holds a Mexican passport. Should we call her an African Mexican? I think you can see the problem.
In this film we find Stan Lee in a casino in Busan, South Korea. King T'Challa makes a bet at a craps table, but walks away without waiting to see if he's won. Stan takes T'Challa's winning chips, offering to look after them. That was wise thinking, because we find out in the following events that he never returns to the table. The scene lasts several minutes, but we only see Stan Lee in the final nine seconds.
I'd never heard of Chadwick Boseman before this film, but he's excellent in the title role. He portrays the dignity that befits the leader of an African nation. He's exactly the hero that we see in the comic books, which is unusual for the MCU films. Most of the characters drift off in the wrong directions.
Let's take Klaw as an example. In the film he has weapons which he's stolen from Wakanda. In the comics he had powerful weapons before going to Wakanda.
In the comics Klaw was able to create giant red jungle animals: red elephants, red gorillas and even red panthers. Why can't he do that in the film? He's just a white hunter stealing African weapons from the natives.
That was only the first step in his development. After jumping into his Sound Converter his body was turned into living sound, meaning he was no longer human. Listen to his own words from Fantastic Four #56.
Okay, I can see why Klaw's powers had to be reduced in the film. The main villain was Eric Stevens aka Killmonger. Klaw is just a minor figure, so he couldn't have been portrayed as the most powerful being on Earth.
Michael Jordan has finally found his rightful place in Marvel films. He was awful as the Human Torch, but he's perfect as Killmonger. It's all about the casting. In the wrong role, even the best actor can look bad.
In the film Wakanda's king is protected by a tribe of warrior women, the Dora Milaje. They first appeared in Marvel comics late in the post-canon years, but they sure look good, especially Okoye on the left.
Okoye isn't just strong, she's beautiful and sexy.
What makes her so beautiful? Is it her face, her figure or her spear? I think it's a combination of the three.
Normally I don't like bald-headed women and I'm totally turned off by tattoos, but in Okoye's case I can make an exception. I can't generalise about women. I never know what attracts me until we're together. I'm glad I've never used any dating sites, because the algorithms would never be able to find the right women for me. I'm complicated.
This is the 18th film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, released in January 2018. It's made history by being the first super-hero film to be nominated as Best Film at the Academy Awards. This puzzles me. Why has "Black Panther" been nominated when other equally good films were ignored, films like "Doctor Strange" and "Captain America: Civil War". If I were cynical I'd say that it's a political decision; because of accusations of gender bias in recent years the Film Academy wants to nominate a film which has as many black actors as possible. Or should I call them African American actors? I hate that expression, because it makes an assumption about a person's nationality, even though it's just a way of describing a person's skin colour. What I mean is, if an American sees a dark-skinned person and talks about him to someone else he'll say, "I saw an African American", even if he has no way of knowing whether the person is American or not. It would be much more appropriate to call him black, coloured, dark-skinned or even negro; any word at all that doesn't reference his nationality.
What should we call Stan Lee? A Jewish American? Somehow that doesn't sound right.
What should we call Lupita Nyong'o, who plays Nakia? She lives in the USA, but she holds a Mexican passport. Should we call her an African Mexican? I think you can see the problem.
In this film we find Stan Lee in a casino in Busan, South Korea. King T'Challa makes a bet at a craps table, but walks away without waiting to see if he's won. Stan takes T'Challa's winning chips, offering to look after them. That was wise thinking, because we find out in the following events that he never returns to the table. The scene lasts several minutes, but we only see Stan Lee in the final nine seconds.
I'd never heard of Chadwick Boseman before this film, but he's excellent in the title role. He portrays the dignity that befits the leader of an African nation. He's exactly the hero that we see in the comic books, which is unusual for the MCU films. Most of the characters drift off in the wrong directions.
Let's take Klaw as an example. In the film he has weapons which he's stolen from Wakanda. In the comics he had powerful weapons before going to Wakanda.
In the comics Klaw was able to create giant red jungle animals: red elephants, red gorillas and even red panthers. Why can't he do that in the film? He's just a white hunter stealing African weapons from the natives.
That was only the first step in his development. After jumping into his Sound Converter his body was turned into living sound, meaning he was no longer human. Listen to his own words from Fantastic Four #56.
Okay, I can see why Klaw's powers had to be reduced in the film. The main villain was Eric Stevens aka Killmonger. Klaw is just a minor figure, so he couldn't have been portrayed as the most powerful being on Earth.
Michael Jordan has finally found his rightful place in Marvel films. He was awful as the Human Torch, but he's perfect as Killmonger. It's all about the casting. In the wrong role, even the best actor can look bad.
In the film Wakanda's king is protected by a tribe of warrior women, the Dora Milaje. They first appeared in Marvel comics late in the post-canon years, but they sure look good, especially Okoye on the left.
Okoye isn't just strong, she's beautiful and sexy.
What makes her so beautiful? Is it her face, her figure or her spear? I think it's a combination of the three.
Normally I don't like bald-headed women and I'm totally turned off by tattoos, but in Okoye's case I can make an exception. I can't generalise about women. I never know what attracts me until we're together. I'm glad I've never used any dating sites, because the algorithms would never be able to find the right women for me. I'm complicated.
Success Ratio: + 4.4
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| Order from Amazon.de |
The Happytime Murders
Watch Movies TV -***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion (or other commenters), that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching! This ain't your daddy's puppets...wait, actually, they probably are.
The Happytime Murders – 2 out of 5
Sometimes people equate what constitutes adult entertainment with a rating. I see people complain all the time that Marvel isn’t catering to adults because they make PG-13 movies and that instantly makes them “kids’ stuff” somehow. Never mind the fact their tales have drama and morals that pretty much any demographic can relate to but there are people who like to show what big boys they are and they do that by watching R-rated movies. For some reason, hearing swear words, seeing graphic violence and partaking in nudity means they’re more adult than other people. If that’s all it takes to make a person happy, more power to them but I need some substance with the F-bombs, boobs and blood. The Happytime Murders might be enough for guys who crave seeing puppets have sex but, for me, the film was a dead horse joke that feels more like an exploration of what a 13 year old thinks is adult entertainment than something that is actually catering to the adult sensibilities.
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| A down-on-his-luck private investigator...but in puppet form. |
Phil Phillips (Bill Barretta) is a disgraced puppet police officer who is trying to earn a living as a private investigator. He is hired by another puppet named Sandra (Dorien Davies) to find out who is blackmailing her and the investigation leads to a string of murders. Someone is killing the cast members of an old 90s sitcom called “The Happytime Gang” and Phil reluctantly agrees to team-up with his old partner; Detective Connie Edwards (Melissa McCarthy). However, it’s not long before the trail of bodies leads to Phillips and he becomes the primary suspect.
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| I absolutely adore McCarthy but sometimes she attaches herself to comedies that aren't worthy of her talent. |
If I was 14, I probably would have liked The Happytime Murders more but since I’m nearing 40 putting puppets in sexual situations, hearing them say “fuck,” seeing them do drugs and having a plot point that literally revolves around a puppet’s vagina isn’t enough for me. As a preteen (and probably all the way into my late-teens) this would have made me giggle because it would have felt so forbidden but as an adult, this whole movie just felt juvenile. Immature humor is not something I'm above but there is definitely an art to it. Just throwing puppets into sexual and ultra-violent scenarios just felt lazy and like it was going for the bottom of the barrel gags. It’s like when something tries so hard to be mature and gritty that it ends up feeling childish, that was my experience with this film. It doesn't help matters that this film is basically just repeating this very narrow formula and it doesn't get better the more times you see it.
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| In case you're curious, you see this puppet's vagina. |
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| Is Michael McDonald good friends with McCarthy? He always shows up in her films. |
There are some things that work very well, however, in The Happytime Murders. I found most of the jokes got an eye-roll from me but there are definitely times that I found the gags and humor to be amusing. Additionally, the performances from the human actors are excellent. Finally, the puppeteering in the film is truly astounding and absolutely impressive. The material of the story and humor aside, the way they integrated the puppets really helped build the world and make it believable. They also did movements and character interactions I haven’t previously seen before in the world of puppets and it was extremely impressive. This work alone was so outstanding that it nearly singlehandedly made me give the film a middle-of-the-road score of 3 out of 5. However, as great as this aspect is, it isn’t good enough to erase just how unfunny and mediocre I found this viewing experience.
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| Okay, I will concede that the film having dogs as weapons against puppets because they look like chew toys is a funny idea. |
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| And if you are familiar with No, You Shut Up!, you'll recognize this puppet here. |
The real killer for the film for me was I just didn’t find it funny. I’ve seen adult puppet projects work in the past (No, You Shut Up!) and I’ve seen ones that I liked when I was younger and found they didn’t age well when I watched it as an adult (Meet the Feebles) but The Happytime Murders was one that I felt didn’t work from the get-go. It has its moments but too often the humor feels like it is solely relying on the fact that the events you are seeing is being perpetrated to or done by puppets and too often in this film that wasn’t enough. To put it simply, a majority of the gags in the film felt like the punchline was just, “It’s a puppet doing it.” Here’s an orgasm joke…but it’s a puppet doing it. Here’s a joke about a crackhead ready to exchange sexual favors for drugs…but it’s a puppet doing it. It feels repetitive and never felt like it was enough to carry a joke on, let alone an entire movie. Too often the jokes and gags rely on puppets doing indecent things and not enough of them are jokes and gags inspired and derived from the plot and story. This gives the humor the feeling of beating a dead horse and why I feel the film feels childish rather than funny with its immaturity.
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| Honestly, the best joke of the film for me didn't even involve puppets. It was Connie leaving her job and saying how she should have had sex with this man... McCarthy's real-life husband. |
The Happytime Murders, from a technical standpoint in its puppetry, is astounding and really an amazing feat. Sadly, though, I didn’t find it funny and it made for an experience that was kinda boring and broken only by moments of occasion chuckles and times of awe as I was amazed by the puppet work. Ron in Middle School would have found this film hilarious because there are puppets buying porn and doing drugs in this film but Ron in his late 30s finds this piece of entertainment soulless and lazy, not even good enough to be mindless comedy that's nothing but fluff and yet still good for a laugh.
Review of BATO: Idealizing the Image
Watch Movies TV - January 31, 2019
This new biopic by Adolfo Alix, Jr. is about former Philippine National Police Chief Gen. Ronald "Bato" dela Rosa, who just so happened to be running for a seat in the Senate in the midterm elections in May 2019. Campaign period officially starts on February 12, 2019, so this literally just barely made it within the legal period. Nevertheless, the timing of this release made this film very controversial, so calls for boycott had been endorsed by some groups. This was graded B from the Cinema Evaluation Board,
Moro rebels had taken seven women hostage in a rehabilitation facility in Davao City in exchange for safe passage. Provincial police director Bato dela Rosa headed a team to handle the situation. Interwoven into this story were flashbacks to three periods in young Bato's life. We meet him as a child selling hogwash to augment the family funds, Then we meet him as a teenager when two of his younger brothers died one after the other from disease. Still later, we meet him as a young man en route to his dream of being a police officer in the Philippine Military Academy.
The mature Bato was played by Robin Padilla and his wife Nancy was played by Beauty Gonzales. Padilla's "macho" action-star tics were all in full display here, including playing "cute" with his wife. His signature vocal inflections were so identifiable, even when he was only singing the birthday song off-screen in the first scene. Padilla's exaggerated wide-gait swag strutting scenes were amusing to watch, especially since he was much slimmer than the stockier Bato. Gonzales was not made to do much than act like a worried, concerned wife who wanted her husband to retire from field work.
The young man Bato was portrayed by Kiko Estrada, who had a strong screen presence, credible as a PMA cadet. His young wife Nancy was portrayed by very pretty Alyssa Muhlach. His parents Doro and Anesia were played by Ricky Davao and Gina Alajar. Of course, these two veteran actors gave realistic performances of unconditional support for their children. The teenage Bato was portrayed by Ryle Paolo Santiago, while the child Bato was portrayed by Miguel Vergara.
A comically scene-stealing Archie Alemania played Bato's junior police colleague, with Monsour del Rosario, Gardo Versoza and Alvin Anson playing other police officers. Allan Paule played the Governor of Davao, while Jake Joson played the impatient impulsive negotiator. Actors Polo Ravales, Kiko Matos, Joko Diaz and Mon Confiado all had their skin darkened to play terrorists. Angelina Kanapi played one of the hostages. Menggie Cobarrubias played a priest. Surely, no story of Bato dela Rosa would be complete without Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, as amusingly impersonated by Efren Reyes, Jr. (Apparently even before, he already told his officers not to feel guilty if they kill somebody in the line of duty.)
As expected there were a number of action scenes. The movie opened with a shootout right outside the dela Rosa residence. There was a throwback scene to a 1989 hostage taking situation inside a Davao prison. This was the same occasion when a female Australian missionary was raped and killed (a heinous crime notoriously revisited in a presidential "joke").There was a chase scene by foot against a suicide bomber which reach a climax on the roof of a university. Since the main hostage drama took four days, the resolution of the crisis could have been executed better, than the rushed illogical way it was done.
This was a idealized biopic designed to extol and lionize its subject. He had it all. He was the respectful son, resourceful child, smart student, responsible teenager, noble idealist, brave cadet, dedicated policeman, skillful tactician, compassionate crusader and a God-fearing Catholic. There were more than one scene showing Bato's gentle side. He prayed in tears after encounters where he shot and killed people. He visited a church during tense stand-off situations. This would seem to impress upon us how much he relied on divide inspiration when making difficult decisions, despite his brutish exterior.
The entire epilogue where Robin Padilla shaves off his hair on-screen to transform into the bald-headed Bato dela Rosa we know was accompanied by a voice-over of his promise that there may be things that are tough to do, but someone has to do them, and no one can do it but him. (That certainly sounded like a campaign slogan right there.)
To be completely objective, the movie was not really that bad for me for an average Filipino action film. However, the polarizing political shade of the subject matter is bound to greatly affect people's appreciation of it to either extreme. 5/10.
This new biopic by Adolfo Alix, Jr. is about former Philippine National Police Chief Gen. Ronald "Bato" dela Rosa, who just so happened to be running for a seat in the Senate in the midterm elections in May 2019. Campaign period officially starts on February 12, 2019, so this literally just barely made it within the legal period. Nevertheless, the timing of this release made this film very controversial, so calls for boycott had been endorsed by some groups. This was graded B from the Cinema Evaluation Board,
Moro rebels had taken seven women hostage in a rehabilitation facility in Davao City in exchange for safe passage. Provincial police director Bato dela Rosa headed a team to handle the situation. Interwoven into this story were flashbacks to three periods in young Bato's life. We meet him as a child selling hogwash to augment the family funds, Then we meet him as a teenager when two of his younger brothers died one after the other from disease. Still later, we meet him as a young man en route to his dream of being a police officer in the Philippine Military Academy.
The mature Bato was played by Robin Padilla and his wife Nancy was played by Beauty Gonzales. Padilla's "macho" action-star tics were all in full display here, including playing "cute" with his wife. His signature vocal inflections were so identifiable, even when he was only singing the birthday song off-screen in the first scene. Padilla's exaggerated wide-gait swag strutting scenes were amusing to watch, especially since he was much slimmer than the stockier Bato. Gonzales was not made to do much than act like a worried, concerned wife who wanted her husband to retire from field work.
The young man Bato was portrayed by Kiko Estrada, who had a strong screen presence, credible as a PMA cadet. His young wife Nancy was portrayed by very pretty Alyssa Muhlach. His parents Doro and Anesia were played by Ricky Davao and Gina Alajar. Of course, these two veteran actors gave realistic performances of unconditional support for their children. The teenage Bato was portrayed by Ryle Paolo Santiago, while the child Bato was portrayed by Miguel Vergara.
A comically scene-stealing Archie Alemania played Bato's junior police colleague, with Monsour del Rosario, Gardo Versoza and Alvin Anson playing other police officers. Allan Paule played the Governor of Davao, while Jake Joson played the impatient impulsive negotiator. Actors Polo Ravales, Kiko Matos, Joko Diaz and Mon Confiado all had their skin darkened to play terrorists. Angelina Kanapi played one of the hostages. Menggie Cobarrubias played a priest. Surely, no story of Bato dela Rosa would be complete without Mayor Rodrigo Duterte, as amusingly impersonated by Efren Reyes, Jr. (Apparently even before, he already told his officers not to feel guilty if they kill somebody in the line of duty.)
As expected there were a number of action scenes. The movie opened with a shootout right outside the dela Rosa residence. There was a throwback scene to a 1989 hostage taking situation inside a Davao prison. This was the same occasion when a female Australian missionary was raped and killed (a heinous crime notoriously revisited in a presidential "joke").There was a chase scene by foot against a suicide bomber which reach a climax on the roof of a university. Since the main hostage drama took four days, the resolution of the crisis could have been executed better, than the rushed illogical way it was done.
This was a idealized biopic designed to extol and lionize its subject. He had it all. He was the respectful son, resourceful child, smart student, responsible teenager, noble idealist, brave cadet, dedicated policeman, skillful tactician, compassionate crusader and a God-fearing Catholic. There were more than one scene showing Bato's gentle side. He prayed in tears after encounters where he shot and killed people. He visited a church during tense stand-off situations. This would seem to impress upon us how much he relied on divide inspiration when making difficult decisions, despite his brutish exterior.
The entire epilogue where Robin Padilla shaves off his hair on-screen to transform into the bald-headed Bato dela Rosa we know was accompanied by a voice-over of his promise that there may be things that are tough to do, but someone has to do them, and no one can do it but him. (That certainly sounded like a campaign slogan right there.)
To be completely objective, the movie was not really that bad for me for an average Filipino action film. However, the polarizing political shade of the subject matter is bound to greatly affect people's appreciation of it to either extreme. 5/10.
Retro Review: Pootie Tang (2001)
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Pootie Tang
2001
Cast: Lance Crouther, Jennifer Coolidge, Wanda Sykes, Robert Vaughn, J.B Smoove, Chris Rock
Genre: Comedy
U.S Box Office Gross: over $3 million
Plot: cool guy Pootie Tang is a crime-fighting recording artist. Despite the fact his strange style of speech is understood by a select few, he becomes a hero to the children he protects
'Far From Patooey, Yet Not Hilarious Enough Either'
As far as comedy movies go, Pootie Tang is as scattershot as it is largely boring and following in the tradition of comedy TV sketches which were given the big screen treatment, such as a Night At The Roxbury, Coneheads, this one sadly underwhelms as well.
Based on the initial 5 min skit on The Chris Rock Show, the laughs, some courtesy of Wanda Sykes and Chris Rock, are few yet barely and well-earned and whilst it has this surreal, unique feel, this is more of a one-joke affair. It has been damned by Variety's Todd McCarthy as 'amateurish', although concept-wise, it is something one mustn't take seriously at face value and that it's very low brow.
The main character of Pootie is a triple threat: a musician, actor and folk hero all rolled into one and man of many daring outfits and who utters words that are based on or are reminiscent of hip hop and blaxploitation movies that makes him come across as one cool dude. His public service announcement efforts have led to Lector Corporation's profits to tumble and with that, Dick Lector enlists his temptress/femme fatale to take down Pootie, steal his belt and force him to do liquor ads & destroy his clean-cut image.
Pootie Tang is like Austin Powers, only minus the wit and jokes and consistent humour, but for the cherry pie scene and Chris Tucker dressed as a corn, this should have amounted to a whole lot more and better as well. Another issue is the sketchy and rather unflattering treatment of women and the use of terms, ho*s and b****es, which did take away some of my enjoyment. When it came to the performances, Wanda Sykes's Biggie Shorty with that red hair made me laugh on occasions & whose goal is to sleep with Pootie, whilst Chris Rock was all right; although I wished the supporting characters were utilised better, rather than just shoehorning them into the film.
Final Verdict:
Being a satire, the film isn't too bad and thus, it deserves several rewatches from me; I just wished it had been a tad funnier and even at 81 mins, the pacing is too slow, it made Pootie Tang feel like a 2-hour movie.
Overall:

2001
Cast: Lance Crouther, Jennifer Coolidge, Wanda Sykes, Robert Vaughn, J.B Smoove, Chris Rock
Genre: Comedy
U.S Box Office Gross: over $3 million
Plot: cool guy Pootie Tang is a crime-fighting recording artist. Despite the fact his strange style of speech is understood by a select few, he becomes a hero to the children he protects
'Far From Patooey, Yet Not Hilarious Enough Either'
As far as comedy movies go, Pootie Tang is as scattershot as it is largely boring and following in the tradition of comedy TV sketches which were given the big screen treatment, such as a Night At The Roxbury, Coneheads, this one sadly underwhelms as well.
Based on the initial 5 min skit on The Chris Rock Show, the laughs, some courtesy of Wanda Sykes and Chris Rock, are few yet barely and well-earned and whilst it has this surreal, unique feel, this is more of a one-joke affair. It has been damned by Variety's Todd McCarthy as 'amateurish', although concept-wise, it is something one mustn't take seriously at face value and that it's very low brow.
The main character of Pootie is a triple threat: a musician, actor and folk hero all rolled into one and man of many daring outfits and who utters words that are based on or are reminiscent of hip hop and blaxploitation movies that makes him come across as one cool dude. His public service announcement efforts have led to Lector Corporation's profits to tumble and with that, Dick Lector enlists his temptress/femme fatale to take down Pootie, steal his belt and force him to do liquor ads & destroy his clean-cut image.
Pootie Tang is like Austin Powers, only minus the wit and jokes and consistent humour, but for the cherry pie scene and Chris Tucker dressed as a corn, this should have amounted to a whole lot more and better as well. Another issue is the sketchy and rather unflattering treatment of women and the use of terms, ho*s and b****es, which did take away some of my enjoyment. When it came to the performances, Wanda Sykes's Biggie Shorty with that red hair made me laugh on occasions & whose goal is to sleep with Pootie, whilst Chris Rock was all right; although I wished the supporting characters were utilised better, rather than just shoehorning them into the film.
Final Verdict:
Being a satire, the film isn't too bad and thus, it deserves several rewatches from me; I just wished it had been a tad funnier and even at 81 mins, the pacing is too slow, it made Pootie Tang feel like a 2-hour movie.
Overall:

Charismata (2017) - Horror Film Review
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Charismata was written and directed by Andy Collier and Toor Mian. It is an English horror that starts off as one thing and by the end has transformed into something else entirely. For me this was a shame as I really liked what I initially thought it was going to be. It had some scenes of nice atmosphere, but this soon turns into something that felt just too outlandish and silly to take seriously.
London based Police Detective Rebecca (Sarah Beck Mather - Black Mirror, Dark Souls II) and her partner Eli (Andonis Anthony - Assassin's Creed Origins, Assassin's Creed Odyssey) are investigating a grisly series of ritualistic murders they believe to be the work of a serial killer. Despite an airtight alibi she starts to suspect that their first suspect - businessman Michael Sweet (Jamie Satterthwaite) is the culprit and starts to become obsessed with tracking him. Around the same time however she starts to get intense hallucinations that make her question her sanity. Is the pressure of her job getting to her, or is there some far more nefarious explanation?
Charismata is a movie where everyone is miserable as hell, none more so than Rebecca. She has a face like a wet weekend throughout, not helped by her personal life where she is dealing with a messy breakup, and her professional life where her all male work colleagues, as well as the people she interviews act like the #metoo thing never happened (though they take the mick out of themselves just as much as they do her it has to be said). The cast are mostly males with her being the only female who gets more than a couple of lines of dialogue. The crime scenes were atmospheric, especially the first one which was bigged up by dialogue before hand. This felt very similar to Condemned: Criminal Origins to begin with, a similarity I loved as I really enjoy playing that video game. This was helped by some of the more bizarre moments such as various characters getting unexplainable nosebleeds.
Until around the halfway mark this was more a crime thriller than anything else. I liked the whole police investigation, the usual following the clues, speaking to witnesses and people of interest aspect, I figured this may be something like Seven. Then this goes far more surreal and weird which felt at odds with what had came before. There are dream sequences and hallucinations all of which I just didn't get on with. I could see how far away this was getting from the core plot, so much so that it fades away to be replaced completely with a more insular look at one woman's mental breakdown.
It was the plot itself that I found the least entertaining. Things are only ever half explained, you are left to piece together things yourself. To me though this just felt like a pile of plot holes and missing segments. It is hinted that Rebecca has some sort of issue with her father but this is never explained for instance. She has seemingly severe mental health problems that make her seem ill suited for her job even before anything weird starts happening. She is forever being told she is doing a great job but there is no evidence to support this. By the end it just felt like a jumbled mess with leaps of logic expected of the viewer. By the time the end credits rolled I had the feeling this was just a straight up miserable film (not only that, one with a stupid ending), there was no resolution or redemption for the troubled lead, she suffers and suffers throughout and then that's it. This is a shame as this is competently filmed, it has the feeling of being a higher budget than it is, and the effects used are interesting in how they are displayed. From Rebecca's face morphing as she gazes into a mirror, to the blood effects and more apparently supernatural stuff, it is all good. The cast also are mostly pretty good in their roles, especially the main trio of Mather, Anthony and Satterthwaite, while Johnny Vivash has a great role as the hapless head of a security firm.
When it comes down to it getting enjoyment out of a film is down to the viewer. My early hopes of seeing an entertaining police thriller were dashed. While there is no issue with changing genres for me the second half just was not as good, it felt more undefined with the storytelling not in place to really sell what is happening in a satisfying manner. The ending itself just summed up my problems with this, when unreality over takes reality in such a way it stops being gritty and moody, instead it just comes across as almost farcical. Charismata is due to be released thanks to High Fliers Films.
SCORE:
Charismata was written and directed by Andy Collier and Toor Mian. It is an English horror that starts off as one thing and by the end has transformed into something else entirely. For me this was a shame as I really liked what I initially thought it was going to be. It had some scenes of nice atmosphere, but this soon turns into something that felt just too outlandish and silly to take seriously.
London based Police Detective Rebecca (Sarah Beck Mather - Black Mirror, Dark Souls II) and her partner Eli (Andonis Anthony - Assassin's Creed Origins, Assassin's Creed Odyssey) are investigating a grisly series of ritualistic murders they believe to be the work of a serial killer. Despite an airtight alibi she starts to suspect that their first suspect - businessman Michael Sweet (Jamie Satterthwaite) is the culprit and starts to become obsessed with tracking him. Around the same time however she starts to get intense hallucinations that make her question her sanity. Is the pressure of her job getting to her, or is there some far more nefarious explanation?
Charismata is a movie where everyone is miserable as hell, none more so than Rebecca. She has a face like a wet weekend throughout, not helped by her personal life where she is dealing with a messy breakup, and her professional life where her all male work colleagues, as well as the people she interviews act like the #metoo thing never happened (though they take the mick out of themselves just as much as they do her it has to be said). The cast are mostly males with her being the only female who gets more than a couple of lines of dialogue. The crime scenes were atmospheric, especially the first one which was bigged up by dialogue before hand. This felt very similar to Condemned: Criminal Origins to begin with, a similarity I loved as I really enjoy playing that video game. This was helped by some of the more bizarre moments such as various characters getting unexplainable nosebleeds.
Until around the halfway mark this was more a crime thriller than anything else. I liked the whole police investigation, the usual following the clues, speaking to witnesses and people of interest aspect, I figured this may be something like Seven. Then this goes far more surreal and weird which felt at odds with what had came before. There are dream sequences and hallucinations all of which I just didn't get on with. I could see how far away this was getting from the core plot, so much so that it fades away to be replaced completely with a more insular look at one woman's mental breakdown.
It was the plot itself that I found the least entertaining. Things are only ever half explained, you are left to piece together things yourself. To me though this just felt like a pile of plot holes and missing segments. It is hinted that Rebecca has some sort of issue with her father but this is never explained for instance. She has seemingly severe mental health problems that make her seem ill suited for her job even before anything weird starts happening. She is forever being told she is doing a great job but there is no evidence to support this. By the end it just felt like a jumbled mess with leaps of logic expected of the viewer. By the time the end credits rolled I had the feeling this was just a straight up miserable film (not only that, one with a stupid ending), there was no resolution or redemption for the troubled lead, she suffers and suffers throughout and then that's it. This is a shame as this is competently filmed, it has the feeling of being a higher budget than it is, and the effects used are interesting in how they are displayed. From Rebecca's face morphing as she gazes into a mirror, to the blood effects and more apparently supernatural stuff, it is all good. The cast also are mostly pretty good in their roles, especially the main trio of Mather, Anthony and Satterthwaite, while Johnny Vivash has a great role as the hapless head of a security firm.
When it comes down to it getting enjoyment out of a film is down to the viewer. My early hopes of seeing an entertaining police thriller were dashed. While there is no issue with changing genres for me the second half just was not as good, it felt more undefined with the storytelling not in place to really sell what is happening in a satisfying manner. The ending itself just summed up my problems with this, when unreality over takes reality in such a way it stops being gritty and moody, instead it just comes across as almost farcical. Charismata is due to be released thanks to High Fliers Films.
SCORE:
COME AND ENTER 'THE HOUSE OF SCREAMING DEATH'
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Pop Cinema have recently released the horror omnibus movie THE HOUSE OF SCREAMING DEATH which is available to watch on Amazon now in the US. A VOD/ physical release is scheduled for Spring in the UK.
Starring Ian McNeice (From Hell, Doctor Who), THE HOUSE OF SCREAMING DEATH is a chilling collection of blood-curdling tales in the vein of Amicus and Hammer studios’ classic horror that critics are calling “sinister” and “creepy” (365Flicks) and “a great time in horror” (HorrorSociety.com).
Synopsis:
Ghouls, demons, witches and the undead stalk the halls of an eerie mansion known as Bray Manor, summoned forth over the course of one night by the tales of a mysterious figure known as The Architect. Listen if you dare to these terrifying tales of the macabre, because as each end comes a spine-tingling twist – while the Architect has one last devilish secret of his own to share!
Pop Cinema have recently released the horror omnibus movie THE HOUSE OF SCREAMING DEATH which is available to watch on Amazon now in the US. A VOD/ physical release is scheduled for Spring in the UK.
Starring Ian McNeice (From Hell, Doctor Who), THE HOUSE OF SCREAMING DEATH is a chilling collection of blood-curdling tales in the vein of Amicus and Hammer studios’ classic horror that critics are calling “sinister” and “creepy” (365Flicks) and “a great time in horror” (HorrorSociety.com).
Synopsis:
Ghouls, demons, witches and the undead stalk the halls of an eerie mansion known as Bray Manor, summoned forth over the course of one night by the tales of a mysterious figure known as The Architect. Listen if you dare to these terrifying tales of the macabre, because as each end comes a spine-tingling twist – while the Architect has one last devilish secret of his own to share!
For more on THE HOUSE OF SCREAMING DEATH check out the official films website:
OFFICIAL TRAILER RELEASED FOR 'FAR FROM THE APPLE TREE'
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Ahead of its scheduled early 2019 release where it will hit cinemas, DVD and online platforms we can reveal the official trailer and two exclusive scene excerpts for Sorcha Groundsell's (star of Netflix hit The Innocents) fairytale-horror movie, FAR FROM THE APPLE TREE.
“One of the most authentic horror films I’ve ever seen. What it accomplishes with zero jump scares, virtually no blood, and a minuscule budget is mind-numbing” - Modern Horrors
“A tour de force of visual indulgence” - Toxic Fletch.
'Folk-Horror', 'Fantasy' and 'Pop Art Fairytale' have been variously used to describe this unique independent feature starring the Netflix drama The Innocents' Sorcha Groundsell, after its teaser release last summer.
Groundsell plays Judith, a wide-eyed and innocent artist who has been given the offer of a life time – the opportunity to live and learn from renowned occult artist, Roberta Roslin (Victoria Liddelle, The Outlaw King).
In exchange for cataloguing and archiving Roberta's visual archive Judith will be trained, moulded and prepared for her first solo art exhibition. To her horror, Judith soon realises that there is more to Roberta's offer than she initially thought as she discovers a mysterious woman hidden within the archive – Roberta's missing daughter who bears a striking resemblance to herself. Judith is faced with a battle between artistic integrity and her own mind.
Directed by Grant McPhee (Post Punk documentary Big Gold Dream, one of 2015's Sight and Sound picks of the year, and psychedelic horror Night Kaleidoscope) and with a soundtrack by underground artist Rose McDowall (Psychic TV, Strawberry Switchblade, Current93) FAR FROM THE APPLE TREE follows in the tradition of The Wicker Man, Alice in Wonderland, Valerie's Week of Wonders, Jean Rollin and Rebecca with an added large dose of dark psychedelia.
Grant McPhee “I wanted to make a film that felt different to everything else around but still felt scary like a traditional horror film. It's part Suspiria, mixed with The Velvet Underground, minimalist classical music and old fairytales. It's a woozy dream mixed with sharp bursts of waking nightmares.”
The film utilised decades old vintage camera equipment to help weave its dreamlike state and reality-shifting storylines. Formats included 35mm, Betamax, Super8 and Home Developed film.
Ahead of its scheduled early 2019 release where it will hit cinemas, DVD and online platforms we can reveal the official trailer and two exclusive scene excerpts for Sorcha Groundsell's (star of Netflix hit The Innocents) fairytale-horror movie, FAR FROM THE APPLE TREE.
“One of the most authentic horror films I’ve ever seen. What it accomplishes with zero jump scares, virtually no blood, and a minuscule budget is mind-numbing” - Modern Horrors
“A tour de force of visual indulgence” - Toxic Fletch.
'Folk-Horror', 'Fantasy' and 'Pop Art Fairytale' have been variously used to describe this unique independent feature starring the Netflix drama The Innocents' Sorcha Groundsell, after its teaser release last summer.
Groundsell plays Judith, a wide-eyed and innocent artist who has been given the offer of a life time – the opportunity to live and learn from renowned occult artist, Roberta Roslin (Victoria Liddelle, The Outlaw King).
In exchange for cataloguing and archiving Roberta's visual archive Judith will be trained, moulded and prepared for her first solo art exhibition. To her horror, Judith soon realises that there is more to Roberta's offer than she initially thought as she discovers a mysterious woman hidden within the archive – Roberta's missing daughter who bears a striking resemblance to herself. Judith is faced with a battle between artistic integrity and her own mind.
Directed by Grant McPhee (Post Punk documentary Big Gold Dream, one of 2015's Sight and Sound picks of the year, and psychedelic horror Night Kaleidoscope) and with a soundtrack by underground artist Rose McDowall (Psychic TV, Strawberry Switchblade, Current93) FAR FROM THE APPLE TREE follows in the tradition of The Wicker Man, Alice in Wonderland, Valerie's Week of Wonders, Jean Rollin and Rebecca with an added large dose of dark psychedelia.
Grant McPhee “I wanted to make a film that felt different to everything else around but still felt scary like a traditional horror film. It's part Suspiria, mixed with The Velvet Underground, minimalist classical music and old fairytales. It's a woozy dream mixed with sharp bursts of waking nightmares.”
The film utilised decades old vintage camera equipment to help weave its dreamlike state and reality-shifting storylines. Formats included 35mm, Betamax, Super8 and Home Developed film.
Scene Excerpt 1: 'Judith's First Night in the House'
Scene Excerpt 2: 'Judith Explores the house'
FAR FROM THE APPLE TREE will hit cinemas, DVD and online platforms in early 2019.
Keep up date with the film by following the social media pages below:
Twitter: @mummyandmaddy
Film Review: SOUL TO KEEP (2018)
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SOUL TO KEEP **** USA 2018 Dir: David Allensworth, Moniere. 94 mins
Siblings Aurora Heimbach and Tony Spitz inherit their grandfather’s country home and settle in for a weekend of pot smoking and drinking games with his girlfriend (deaf actress Sandra Mae Frank), Wiccan Kate Rose Reynolds and her narcissistic jock boyfriend – plus Craig Vogel as a shrill vlogger who lurks in cupboards just to scare people and films everything with his phone. Worrying signs include power cuts, visions of creepy little girls and an oddly placed chainsaw, but, despite concerns about conjuring some “Wes Craven shit” the group majority-votes to participate in a basement ritual that ends up summoning Beelzebub.
The tone set by an evocative illustrated title sequence documenting evil through the ages, this overcomes the generic familiarity of its set-up thanks to an unusually intelligent script. Characters are pithily developed: one guy’s ignorance is encapsulated by the fact that he’s the only member of the group who never bothered to learn how to sign. In a genre where handicapped women have been traditionally cast as resilient victims, Frank represents an impressively inclusive and unpatronising portrayal of a deaf character – with almost all the film’s dialogue signed due to her presence in the friendship group. The standard possession scenario (with visual and thematic nods to THE EVIL DEAD) results in second half plot turns that place character dynamics over gore and body count. Reynolds transforms into an impressive succubus, offering witty commentary on the young men she easily seduces: they cum very swiftly, and she is seen finishing herself off while one immediately falls asleep and the other takes to his vlog to brag about the conquest. Reynolds’ sexual mockery (“You’re built like a Ken doll!”) brings much humour to the film as the men are easily enslaved while the handicapped heroine outsmarts them all (and her disability ensures hers is the one body the demon doesn’t fancy hijacking). This slick, atmospheric picture develops sympathetic protagonists and displays a rare sense of grief from the ensemble when their friends start dropping like flies.
Review by Steven West
SOUL TO KEEP **** USA 2018 Dir: David Allensworth, Moniere. 94 mins
Siblings Aurora Heimbach and Tony Spitz inherit their grandfather’s country home and settle in for a weekend of pot smoking and drinking games with his girlfriend (deaf actress Sandra Mae Frank), Wiccan Kate Rose Reynolds and her narcissistic jock boyfriend – plus Craig Vogel as a shrill vlogger who lurks in cupboards just to scare people and films everything with his phone. Worrying signs include power cuts, visions of creepy little girls and an oddly placed chainsaw, but, despite concerns about conjuring some “Wes Craven shit” the group majority-votes to participate in a basement ritual that ends up summoning Beelzebub.
The tone set by an evocative illustrated title sequence documenting evil through the ages, this overcomes the generic familiarity of its set-up thanks to an unusually intelligent script. Characters are pithily developed: one guy’s ignorance is encapsulated by the fact that he’s the only member of the group who never bothered to learn how to sign. In a genre where handicapped women have been traditionally cast as resilient victims, Frank represents an impressively inclusive and unpatronising portrayal of a deaf character – with almost all the film’s dialogue signed due to her presence in the friendship group. The standard possession scenario (with visual and thematic nods to THE EVIL DEAD) results in second half plot turns that place character dynamics over gore and body count. Reynolds transforms into an impressive succubus, offering witty commentary on the young men she easily seduces: they cum very swiftly, and she is seen finishing herself off while one immediately falls asleep and the other takes to his vlog to brag about the conquest. Reynolds’ sexual mockery (“You’re built like a Ken doll!”) brings much humour to the film as the men are easily enslaved while the handicapped heroine outsmarts them all (and her disability ensures hers is the one body the demon doesn’t fancy hijacking). This slick, atmospheric picture develops sympathetic protagonists and displays a rare sense of grief from the ensemble when their friends start dropping like flies.
Review by Steven West
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