Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Kevin Kelly
Yesterday I remarked that Monday Night Raw took place at the same arena three weeks in a row. Today the mystery deepened. I realised that each show had the same fans, sitting in the same places, wearing the same clothes. All four events must have been taped on the same evening. I did some research on the subject, and I finally found the answer in Wikipedia. From 1993 to 1997 Monday Night Raw was broadcast live one week, and the following three weeks showed footage that was aired later in the show. The commentators recorded new commentaries for the recorded shows, saying for instance "X fought Y" last week, when it was actually only half an hour ago. It wasn't until 3rd February 1997 that each episode of Raw came from one single house show, either live or recorded.
This annoys me. I mentioned in my first WWF post that I wasn't sure where to start my reviews. I now realise that I made a mistake. I should have started with Monday Night Raw on 3rd February 1997. But now I've already written four posts. What should I do? Should I continue, or should I skip straight to February 1997? I'll definitely review the Buried Alive PPV, which took place on 20th October 1996. After that I'll drink a strong cup of coffee and make my mind up what to do next.
No, this didn't happen last week. It happened less than ten minutes ago.
Match 1. Vader vs Phineas Quinn
Two weeks ago (or an hour ago in real life) the Godwinns carried a smelly goat to the ring. This time it's a cute puppy.
Vader comes to the ring accompanied by his manager, Jim Cornette. Vader is clearly superior in the match, but Sycho Sid comes to the ring and distracts Vader, so that Vader barely wins.
Jim Ross interviews Mr. Perfect about his upcoming match with Hunter Hearst Helmsley. Mr. Perfect denies that he steals Triple H's girlfriends. He says that they go with him voluntarily because he's perfect.
Match 2. Jake Roberts vs Jerry Lawler
Jerry Lawler enters the ring first, mocking Jake Roberts, who doesn't seem to be coming. Finally Jake arrives, staggering to the ring with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. The referee doesn't want to allow Jake into the ring, saying he's too drunk to compete, but Gorilla Monsoon talks to Jake and allows the fight to begin.
Jake attacks Jerry Lawler with a DDT and pins him. He was only pretending to be drunk. After the pin, Jake pours whiskey over Jerry's face, and then wraps his python around Jerry's neck. The match lasted exactly 12 seconds. This makes it one of the shortest WWE matches ever.
Match 3. Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs Freddie Joe Floyd
Triple H enters the ring with another beautiful woman. This highlights my problems with the delayed broadcasts. On television, it's a different woman to the one he was dating two weeks ago, which is fine for a Casanova like Triple H. In real life, he had two girlfriends in the same evening.
Triple H handcuffs his new date to the ring so that Mr. Perfect can't charm her away, like all the others. During the match Mr. Perfect arrives and takes pity on the poor girl. He gets a key from a security guard and walks out with her. Triple H is furious and runs after him. He's counted out, making Freddie Joe Floyd the winner.
Sunny comes to the ring to introduce the sexiest person in the WWF: herself. After this she joins the commentators at their table.
Is Kevin Kelly stuttering?
Match 4. Faarooq vs The Pug
We all know that wrestling matches are scripted, but I suspect that this is a match that went wrong. The Pug is obviously a jobber who was intended to lose, but at the beginning of the match he does a flying drop kick in Faarooq's face. Faarooq seems genuinely angry. That wasn't supposed to happen. He slams The Pug ruthlessly several times, not allowing him the slightest resistance. The pin is easy.
Evidently Sunny and Faarooq used to be in a relationship. Kevin Kelly asks her if it's really over. Does he think he has a chance with Sunny? She tells him that they've split up, but they're still good friends. She also claims that she taught Faarooq how to wrestle. I'd love to see videos of their training sessions.
Match 5. Shawn Michaels vs Steve Austin, non-title match
The commentators call this the greatest match that has ever been shown on Monday Night Raw. Maybe. I bet they've said that a lot. I have to say, they're two very good wrestlers with different styles that complement one another. Shawn Michaels is fast and athletic, a skilled technical wrestler, while Steve Austin is a rough street fighter.
In the middle of the match Steve Austin takes a break to chat with a boy at ringside. Just look at his face! It happened 25 years ago, but I bet he never forgot.
After about five minutes Vader runs into the ring and attacks Shawn Michaels, causing Steve Austin to be disqualified. That's not fair. Steve Austin never asked Vader to interfere, it was because of a private feud he had with Shawn Michaels. Savio Vega runs into the ring and attacks Steve Austin. Sycho Sid runs into the ring and attacks Vader. Shawn Michaels wants to fight with Sid, but Sid tells him that he only came to the ring to protect Shawn.
All the time the fake wrestlers impersonating Razor Ramon and Diesel stand outside the ring watching.
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar